Practice your ability to paraphrase by following these steps:

a. Choose a partner, and designate one of you as A and the other as B. Find a subject on which you and your partner seem to disagree—a personal dispute, a philosophical or moral issue, or perhaps a matter of personal taste.

b. A begins by making a statement on the subject. B’s job is to paraphrase the idea. In this step, B should only reiterate what he or she heard A say, without adding any judgment or interpretation. B’s job here is simply to understand A—not to agree or disagree with A.

c. A responds by telling B whether the response was accurate and by making any necessary additions or corrections to clarify the message.

d. B then paraphrases the revised statement. This process should continue until A is sure that B understands him or her.

e. Now B and A reverse roles and repeat the procedure in steps a–d. Continue the conversation until both partners are satisfied that they have explained themselves fully and have been understood by the other person.

After the discussion has ended, consider how this process differed from typical conversations on controversial topics.

Was there greater understanding here? Do the partners feel better about one another? Finally, ask yourself how your life might change if you used more paraphrasing in everyday conversations.