(Cost control) Hello! This communication lays out new guidelines for the spending of money while on Company time. Please look them over. Keep in mind that they are just suggested procedures to help us keep spending in line for the benefit of all. Each individual’s needs and requirements are different, we know that, so please report any breach that you spot in these voluntary guidelines to the Controller’s office immediately.

• Travel: Exceptfor Entertainment, with which it is usually paired, Travel is the single biggest expense in the budget. Control in this area will make it less necessaryfor us to get medieval on you later. Therefore, all trips, be they short or long, must be cleared by the Company, specifically by Barry Barber in tbe Controller’s office. A word about Barry. He’s been selected because he doesn’t care about you or what you need to get yourjob done. All he cares about is cost. Later, when this downturn is over, we’re going to fire him . Until then, you belong to him.

• Booking: All trips must be booked through Zippy Travel, a division of the company dedicated to providing the very finest in service as long as it's cheap. Book through www.zippy4U.com, or the touchtone system that is most convenient between the hours of3 am. and 6 am. when fewer peo¬ ple are there to load it up with stupid demands. Register any complaints with your Human Resources representative, who will take care ofyou right away.

• Meals: All business food expense is hereby capped at 20 percent of what it will cost you in the real world. The rest must come out ofyour pocket. No breakfasts will be approved that include bacon, and any employing cut¬ lery1 (except small teaspoons) areforbidden. Luncheons will be capped at $12.50 a person in New York and Los Angeles and $5 elsewhere. Dinners will be limited to $15.50 in major cities with populations over 6 million, and $6.50 everywhere else in the world, except in China, Eastern Europe. South America, and portions ofIndiana, where you can get a complete mealfor under $1. Doggie bags must be presented to a dog approved by Barry Barber in the Controller’s office. Please note that expense caps on meals are not transferable and may not be stockpiled. Just because you do not spend your $12.50 on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thurs¬ day doesn’t mean you can spend $60 on Friday. And don’t tty to buy each other drinks, either! We know that’s what you’ve been up to! Stop it!

• Hotels: Cost of hotel rooms is limited to $49 a night, or no more than 50 percent of their actual price. Those who heretofore have rated a suite will now be booked into a double. All king-size beds will noio be downgraded to queens, except in the borough of Queens, where pull-out cots will now be the rule. Things no longer covered during your hotel stay include:

• Room service.

• Anything from, the minibar.

• Ln-room movies.

• Phone callsfrom the room.

• Closet space that could be used by another executive to sleep standing up.

That’s itfor now. Your Company is sure that if these simple rules are fol¬ lowed, we’ll survive this temporary reversal in our economy with eveiybody, not just the little people, suffering for the good of us all. Oh, and turn offyour lights when you leave a room, for heaven’s sake! What do you think we are— made of money?

Source: Adapted from Stanley Bing, "Cold Cuts for Hard Times,” Fortune (November 26, 2001), pp. 65-66. Copyright © 2001, Time Inc. Ail rights reserved.

a. Explain the cost control strategy presented by the author of the preced¬ ing tongue-in-cheek communication.

b. What do you think the author of the communication was trying to ac¬ complish?

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