Thirty-one-year-old Robert Murphy has the best intentions to participate in team meetings, but when it’s “game time,” he chokes. An online marketing representative, Robert cannot be criticized for lack of preparation. After being invited to a business meeting with six of his co-workers and his supervisor, Robert began doing his research on the meeting’s subject matter.

He compiled notes, arranged them neatly, and walked into the meeting room. As soon as the meeting began, “I just sat there like a lump, fixated on the fact that I was quiet.” The entire meeting passed without Robert contributing a word.

Robert is certainly not the first person, nor is he the last, to fail to speak up during meetings. While some employees may actually lack ability, the highly intelligent also freeze. One study found that if we believe our peers are smarter, we experience anxiety that temporarily blocks our ability to think effectively. In other words, worrying about what the group thinks of you makes you dumber.

The study also found the effect was worse for women, perhaps because they are more socially attuned.

In other cases, failing to speak up may be attributed to personality. While the extraverted tend to be assertive and assured in group settings, the more introverted prefer to collect their thoughts before speaking—if they speak at all. But again, even those who are extraverted can remain quiet, especially when they feel they cannot contribute.

What to do? Michael Woodward, an organizational psychologist, suggests pairing up with someone more assertive who can pull you into the conversation.

Preparation is key, even if it means talking to the person facilitating the meeting beforehand to discuss your thoughts. And finally, the realization that others may be feeling the same anxiety can also help spark the confidence to speak up.

Questions 

1. Recall a time when you failed to speak up during a group meeting. What were the reasons for your silence? Are they similar to or different from the reasons discussed here?

2. Beyond the tips provided in this Case Incident, can you think of other strategies that can help the tongue-tied?

3. Imagine that you are leading a team meeting and you notice that a couple of team members are not contributing. What specific steps might you take to try to increase their contributions?