Compare the following sets of message openers. Circle the opener that illustrates a direct opening. Be prepared to discuss the weaknesses and strengths of each.

1. An e-mail message inquiring about software:

a. We are interested in your voice-recognition software that we understand allows you to dictate and copy text without touching a keyboard. We are interested in answers to a number of questions, such as the cost for a single-user license and perhaps the availability of a free trial version.

b. Please answer the following questions about your voice-recognition software.

2. An e-mail message announcing a training program:

a. If you would like to join our in-house leadership training program, please attend an orientation meeting June 1.

b. For some time we have been investigating the possibility of conducting in-house leadership training courses for interested staff members.

3. An e-mail message introducing a new manager:

a. This is a message to bring you good news. You will be pleased to learn that our long wait is over. After going without a chief for many weeks, we are finally able to welcome our new manager, Kristi Bostock, who comes to us from our Atlanta office. Please welcome her.

b. Please welcome our new manager Kristi Bostock, who comes from our Atlanta office.

4. A memo announcing a new procedure:

a. Some customer representatives in the field have suggested that they would like to key their reports from the field instead of coming back to the office to enter them in their computers. That’s why we have made a number of changes. We would like you to use the following procedures.

b. Customer representatives may now key their field reports using the following procedures.

Opening Paragraphs

The following opening paragraphs are wordy and indirect. After reading each paragraph, identify the main idea. Then, write an opening sentence that illustrates a more direct opening.

5. Our management team would like to find additional ways to improve employee motivation through recognition and reward programs. The current programs do not seem to generate an appropriate level of motivation. Because we need input from employees, we will be conducting an extensive study of all employees. But we will begin with focus groups of selected employees, and you have been selected to be part of the first focus group.

6. Customer service is an integral part of our business. That’s why I was impressed when three of you came to me to ask if you might attend a seminar called “Customer Satisfaction Strategies.” I understand the seminar will take place March 15 and will require you to miss a full day of work. This memo is to inform the staff that Ellen Tucker, Ryan Ho, and Sal Avila will be gone March 15 to attend the conference on customer service and satisfaction.