10 the sentences siructured with the new or sformation near the end p 22 u importa nor short and choppy? Op. 222) uw pouw, eather and dithcuenfocus on the real subijectt (p 2void long neun Does each sentence you limited the number of expletives han negative constectionap 3s pos each sentence focus on the entence focus on the "real" verb, without nominalizations? used parallel structure in your sentencest p 225) avod fit p 235 avoid ating the sevious (p 230 eliminatedrnisplaced modifiers, squinting Hav Yers, and dangling modifiews? (p. 22n L use the most concise phrases p 23 avoidfancy wonds?(p.21 use nonsesist anguage lp 2 Words and Phrases Did you use the people -first approach in seferring so people with select an appropriate level of J use active disabilinies? (p23 make your document easy to arelate? 'p 24 formality? (p.22m l and passive voice appropriately? (p 229) Pay close attention to what you are being asked NTch exercise, and do only as much revising as is 0Take special care to preserve the meaning of the nenal material If necessary, invent reasonable details regulations ace expected to be ready for neview ate this year. to do in 3. Referring to the advice on pages 216-17,rewte each to the advice on pages 215-16, rewrite each of the following sentences to eliminate run-ces a. Agroup of us scientists has encoded a 5300-word 1. of the following sentence fragments to form a complete sentence a. Nine bones from a Pacific walrus that were found book entirely in DNA this means DNA could become in a coffin beneath St. Pancras Railway Station in London. a future means of storing large amounts of data. b. Now you can burn your digital music ibrary to DVD burning to DVDs gives you a significant increave in storage space (4.7 Gb for a standard DVD v.700 Mb for a CD) b. The physical impossibility of knowing both the position and the momentum of a particle at the same time Referring to the advice on pages 217-18, rewrite each of the following sentences to eliminate ambiguous 2. Referring to the advice on page 216, rewrite each of the pronoun references. following sentences to eliminate comma splices a. Porsche has won the J. D. Power new-model a. Kathleen Norris is in charge of analyzing the summer-semester orientation session, which is expected to last five days satisfaction award more than any other car maker the German company is expected to win next year, too b. The football program and the basketball programs are the highest grossing of the seventeen sports at the university. They posted revenues of $1.9 million last year b. The federal Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement is developing new regulations for offshore oil and gas operations in the Arctic, these 0 5. Referring to the advice on pages 218-19, rewrie what they would be looking for in setelement, but they gveus aong in that they would a. The experiences of children with disabilieles 11. The following examples contain choppya b. Universities eoiler sentences. Heferring to the advice on contracts with food-service 6. Referring to the advice on pages 219- hospitals. a. Ineed a figure on the surrender val 20, rewrite each of number of the policy is A4827 this figure by tomorrow? b. The supervisor is responsible o to eliminate unclear adjectives a. More Latinos in the United States than ever are mail, He is also responsible o programs on English-language used only by Nobel Prize winning faculty and operating the equipment b. There are four 12. In the following sentences, the real subjects parking spots on campus that may be on page 220, rewrite each of the from the survey is subject to sampling and question received at our call centers are may be 12. In the buried in prepositional phrases or obscured by expletives. Referring to the advice on entences so that it maintains subject verb revise the sentences so that the real subjects e. Samples a. There has been a decrease in the number of enrolled in our training sessions b. The use of in-store demonstrations has resuhed n 9 errors dramatic increase in business answered in any of the user guides 13. In the following sentences, unnecessary nominalianio obscures the real verb. Referring to the advice on page 8. Referring to the advice on page 220, rewrite each of 224-25, revise the sentences to focus on the real vr a. Pollution constitutes a threat to the Matthews sentences so that it maintains pronoun- 19. a. A researcher who has submitted all the b. Evaluation of the gumming tendency of the four amount of rubber that can be scraped from the advice on pages 225-26, revise the Researumit their proposal to the tire types will be accomplished by comparing the tepo m were assembled to carry out the study and tenses ing sentences to eliminate incorrect use of revole caid early for his betie that the Earth its findings to manag to the advice on pages 220-21, rewrite each 14. Referring to the following sentences to eliminate nonparallelism a. The next two sections of the manual discuss how to analyze the data, the conclusions that can be drawn from your analysis, and how to decide what further steps are needed before establishing a journal list around the Sun s finished by the time I arrived at 300 b. In the box, we should include a copy of the documentation, the cables, and the docking station sentenc i 1o he advice on pages 222-23,break 15. Referring to the advice on pages If we get the contract we must be ready by a. following sentences to correct punctuation or pronoun errors related to modifiers. a. This problem that has been traced to manufacturing necessary personnel and equipment, so with which this in mind a staff meeting which all group managers delays, has resulted in our losing four major to attend, is scheduled for February 12 b. Although we had a frank discussion with Backer's egal staff, wve were unable to get them to specity b. Please get in touch with Tom Harvey who is updating 10 the sentences siructured with the new or sformation near the end p 22 u importa nor short and choppy? Op. 222) uw pouw, eather and dithcuenfocus on the real subijectt (p 2void long neun Does each sentence you limited the number of expletives han negative constectionap 3s pos each sentence focus on the entence focus on the "real" verb, without nominalizations? used parallel structure in your sentencest p 225) avod fit p 235 avoid ating the sevious (p 230 eliminatedrnisplaced modifiers, squinting Hav Yers, and dangling modifiews? (p. 22n L use the most concise phrases p 23 avoidfancy wonds?(p.21 use nonsesist anguage lp 2 Words and Phrases Did you use the people -first approach in seferring so people with select an appropriate level of J use active disabilinies? (p23 make your document easy to arelate? 'p 24 formality? (p.22m l and passive voice appropriately? (p 229) Pay close attention to what you are being asked NTch exercise, and do only as much revising as is 0Take special care to preserve the meaning of the nenal material If necessary, invent reasonable details regulations ace expected to be ready for neview ate this year. to do in 3. Referring to the advice on pages 216-17,rewte each to the advice on pages 215-16, rewrite each of the following sentences to eliminate run-ces a. Agroup of us scientists has encoded a 5300-word 1. of the following sentence fragments to form a complete sentence a. Nine bones from a Pacific walrus that were found book entirely in DNA this means DNA could become in a coffin beneath St. Pancras Railway Station in London. a future means of storing large amounts of data. b. Now you can burn your digital music ibrary to DVD burning to DVDs gives you a significant increave in storage space (4.7 Gb for a standard DVD v.700 Mb for a CD) b. The physical impossibility of knowing both the position and the momentum of a particle at the same time Referring to the advice on pages 217-18, rewrite each of the following sentences to eliminate ambiguous 2. Referring to the advice on page 216, rewrite each of the pronoun references. following sentences to eliminate comma splices a. Porsche has won the J. D. Power new-model a. Kathleen Norris is in charge of analyzing the summer-semester orientation session, which is expected to last five days satisfaction award more than any other car maker the German company is expected to win next year, too b. The football program and the basketball programs are the highest grossing of the seventeen sports at the university. They posted revenues of $1.9 million last year b. The federal Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement is developing new regulations for offshore oil and gas operations in the Arctic, these 0 5. Referring to the advice on pages 218-19, rewrie what they would be looking for in setelement, but they gveus aong in that they would a. The experiences of children with disabilieles 11. The following examples contain choppya b. Universities eoiler sentences. Heferring to the advice on contracts with food-service 6. Referring to the advice on pages 219- hospitals. a. Ineed a figure on the surrender val 20, rewrite each of number of the policy is A4827 this figure by tomorrow? b. The supervisor is responsible o to eliminate unclear adjectives a. More Latinos in the United States than ever are mail, He is also responsible o programs on English-language used only by Nobel Prize winning faculty and operating the equipment b. There are four 12. In the following sentences, the real subjects parking spots on campus that may be on page 220, rewrite each of the from the survey is subject to sampling and question received at our call centers are may be 12. In the buried in prepositional phrases or obscured by expletives. Referring to the advice on entences so that it maintains subject verb revise the sentences so that the real subjects e. Samples a. There has been a decrease in the number of enrolled in our training sessions b. The use of in-store demonstrations has resuhed n 9 errors dramatic increase in business answered in any of the user guides 13. In the following sentences, unnecessary nominalianio obscures the real verb. Referring to the advice on page 8. Referring to the advice on page 220, rewrite each of 224-25, revise the sentences to focus on the real vr a. Pollution constitutes a threat to the Matthews sentences so that it maintains pronoun- 19. a. A researcher who has submitted all the b. Evaluation of the gumming tendency of the four amount of rubber that can be scraped from the advice on pages 225-26, revise the Researumit their proposal to the tire types will be accomplished by comparing the tepo m were assembled to carry out the study and tenses ing sentences to eliminate incorrect use of revole caid early for his betie that the Earth its findings to manag to the advice on pages 220-21, rewrite each 14. Referring to the following sentences to eliminate nonparallelism a. The next two sections of the manual discuss how to analyze the data, the conclusions that can be drawn from your analysis, and how to decide what further steps are needed before establishing a journal list around the Sun s finished by the time I arrived at 300 b. In the box, we should include a copy of the documentation, the cables, and the docking station sentenc i 1o he advice on pages 222-23,break 15. Referring to the advice on pages If we get the contract we must be ready by a. following sentences to correct punctuation or pronoun errors related to modifiers. a. This problem that has been traced to manufacturing necessary personnel and equipment, so with which this in mind a staff meeting which all group managers delays, has resulted in our losing four major to attend, is scheduled for February 12 b. Although we had a frank discussion with Backer's egal staff, wve were unable to get them to specity b. Please get in touch with Tom Harvey who is updating