4.9 Message Organization: Outlining Your Content Using the Nutri-Veg email in this chapter (Figure 4-6@), draw an organizational chart similar to the one shown in Figure 4-12 1 . Fill in the main idea, the major points, and the evidence provided in this letter. (Note; Your diagram may be smaller than the one provided in Figure 4-128.) Organizing Your Information For anything beyond the simples mesages. organization can make the difference between suceess and failure. Compare the draft and revision versions of the mesiage in Figure 46%, in which the writer is requesting the mplacement of a frully DVD drive. The drat verion eatibits four of the most common organization mistakes: Figure 4-6 Email Message with Improved Organization Nutr-Vog has been doing businest with Cornputerfime winoe I wes Kind sir yours ago. Qur compery hat 3000 retal atoros hioughout North Arverica. We are the iarpest retiler ofobafy of rutitiond groducts, woth as vitamins. ininersis, and herbal applernerts Cur custionen are strved by taletoecple Who ute our product and rockive edentwe traing. Ou on ine store contines picsing in popuisty Cur dopenmare now has 15 employees. As acoourlarts we nedd to have our computers working so that ve can do out jobs. The DVD recordor we bought ker limes in firee marlte to the buthorized service cerite, and Suzgrie is very doern't work roht, and shele Ired of having if back ard forth. Weye all peting in loreger hour bece use it is our buny seasion, and nene of us has a lot of spary tinter Tis is the fint tme es ve returned arything b your efori, and Ihope you't bep that we deterve a betwer deal. Compan des 160 , and wels hat kevbe with if exar ane Organizing Your Information For anything beyond the samplest metssages, organtzation can make the difference between success and failure. Compare the draft and twvision versions of the nesaage in Figare t-69, in which the writer is requeating the replacernent of a faulty DVD afrive. The draft version exhibits four of the most commich erginization fnistakest Most disorganized commumication suffers from problems with clarity, relevance, groupingr and completeness, Figure 4-6 Email Message with Improved Organization Figure 4-6 Email Message with Improved Organization Draft =m1=m Nutriveg has been doing business with CompuderTme since I wis h hed tia ywan ago Curcomperfy has 3000 evtal gtores throughour Morth Americh. We wre the la poet netiler globely of mintiond prodect, aoch as vamine whe ute our product and recerye extensive traingng Gur onine atore continapa growing in popularty Our depeitment oow has 15 emgloyest. As accourtants, we need to hive out compuhen woiking to that mas can do our jobs. The DND rocorder we bought for my assisknt, Susanne, has been a problen. We we ighen in in for tepers thee lumes in thiee thanths to the aichorined senice centre, ard Suranne is very careti with the macrene and hasnit abused it Aper al thobe tepairs in sfl doesn't work roth, and shel tred of haulng it bock and forth. Wote all puting in w longer houre becaive it is our buy season. and note of us has a lot of spare torne. Thil is the firtl Ime we ve refurned aryothing by you atore; and I hape you I agete that we deserve a betier dew
