Analyze, Compose and Evaluate one of the following bad news messages.  Answer the Analyzing Questions and rewrite these poorly written messages based on your analyzing answers to soften the impact of the bad news and create a concluding statement that closes the message positively.  (use one or more of the following techniques: propose a solution, propose an alternative, create options for future business, and focus on a benefit)

Choose 1 Topic from the Following:

a)  Thank you for your recent order.  I'm sorry you think your shipment was not complete.  According to our records, all the items you ordered were delivered.  Please refer to the attached copies of your order form and packing slip to confirm your complete shipment.

b) Although I hate to do it, we cannot offer bonuses this year due to declining sales.  I'm sorry to disappoint you, especially during the holiday season.  Better luck next year!

c) As we indicated last month, travel budgets have been frozen until next quarter.  Why did you submit a request when you knew I'd have to deny it?

d) Thank you for your email indicating concern about the monthly premiums for family health insurance coverage.  I agree that the difference between employee-only coverage ($10) and family coverage ($345) is unreasonable.  Your proposal to split the difference makes sense.  I wish I could support it, but the premiums are set by the insurance company.

e)  Sorry to hear your iPod broke after only a week.  We sell them, but we don't fix them.  You'll have to contact the manufacturer who offered the warranty.

Analyze - 10 marks

• What is the bad news?

• What business results do you want to achieve?

• How will the audience react to this news?

• What justification and explanation should you include? Is there anything you can say to soften the bad news?

• Should you include an apology?

• Can you do anything else to project a positive image and maintain goodwill?

• What is the best medium for this message?

Compose - 10 marks

•  

• Develop an effective buffer

• Use the Passive Voice

  • ACTIVE VOICE: You damaged your MP3 player and invalidated the warranty.

  • PASSIVE VOICE:  Your MP3 player was damaged by an accident or misuse, invalidating the warranty.

• Use Positive or Neutral Language

  • Accusing Tone: Your warranty does not cover breakages that you caused.

  • Neutral Tone: The warranty does not cover accidental breakage.

• Close the Message Positively

  • Offer a solution

  • Propose an Alternative

  • Create options for future business

  • Focus on a benefit

Evaluate - 10 marks

• Look objectively for clarity and honesty

• Consider whether the message will maintain a positive relationship with your audience

• Examine the message from your audience’s point of view and consider how the audience is likely to respond.

  • Will the message achieve your intended outcome?

  • Will it hurt or help your business