Bernadette and Celia were assigned to be roommates a month ago when the school year began. Both were initially please with the match because they discovered commonalties in their interests and backgrounds. Lately, however, Bernadette has been irritated by Celia's housekeeping - or lack of it. Celia leaves her clothes lying all over the room. When they cook, Celia leaves the pans and dishes for hours, and then it's usually Bernadette who cleans them. Bernadette feels she has to talk to Celia about this problem, but she hasn't figured out how or when to talk. When Celia gets in from classes, Bernadette is sitting on her bed, reading a textbook.

Celia: Hey, Bernie, how's it going? [Celia drops her book bag in the middle of the floor, flops on the bed, and kicks her shoes off onto the floor. As Bernadette watches, she feels her frustration peaking and decides now is the time to talk to Celia about the problems.]

Bernadette: You shouldn't do that. You make me nuts the way you just throw your stuff all over the room.

Celia: I don't "throw my stuff all over the room." I just took off my shoes and put my books down, like I do every day.

Bernadette: No, you didn't. You dropped your bag right in the middle of the room, and you kicked your shoes where they happen to fall without every noticing how messy they look. And you are right - that is what you do every day.

Celia: There's nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable in my own room. Are we suddenly going for the Good Housekeeping seal of approval?

Bernadette: Comfortable is one thing. But you are so messy. Your mess makes me miserable.

Celia: Since when? This is the first I've heard about it.

Bernadette: Since we started rooming together, but I didn't want to say anything about how angry you make me. I just can't stand it anymore. You shouldn't be so messy.

Celia: Sounds to me like you've got a problem - you, not me. Bernadette: Well, it's you and your mess that are my problem. Do you have to be such a slob?

Discussion Questions:

Identify examples of you-language in this conversation. How you change it to I-language?

Identify example of ambiguous language

Do you agree with Celia that the problem is Bernadette's, not hers? Explain your answer.

To what extent do Celia and Bernadette engage in dual perspective to understand each other?