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Press | Esc | to exit full screen The Empire Today IMPERIAL ECONOMIC INDICATORS TO BE RELEASED Real GDP Trends Look Great ment, 17% government spending, Galactic Debt Continues to Rise By Bobo Fett By General Grievas exports of 20% and imports of 13%. By Count Dooku Today Staff Today Staff Last year's unemployment stood at Today Staff The Imperial Empire will be releasing Imperial Economic According to the Imperial statistical 5%, which is obviously too high for The clock keeps ticking, the clock that Indicators later this month, but already things are looking records department, last year's im- an Empire as glorious as outs. The measures the Galactic debt that is. The lat- up for our glorious Galatic Empire. perial GDP was 800 billion imperial CPI was 110 last year. est report is that the national debt is ap- Despite rumours heard to the contrary from Tatooinian credits ($). So the question to an- Who do we have to thank for last proximately 4500% of GDP from only two professor Okun that there is a gap in our GDP, this re- swer is what will the final GDP be year's glorious economic news? years ago. This number does seem ex- porter feels very confident that the Empire is heading in this year? While unknown, it is tremely high, but the Imperial government exactly the right direction to have a successful year finan- known that last year's GDP is made Emperor Palpatine of course! has assured the public that by balancing cially. up of 58% consumption, 18% invest- A gentle response to a questioning economist. their budget they will now be able to focus (Economist pictured center left) on paying off the galactic debt in future Furthermore the Empire has announced new monetary Empire Announces end to the Emperor Palpatine's Inspiring Quote of the Day years. policies are follows: Blaster Standard Some intergalactic creditors have men- The interest rate at all Imperial banks has been lowered to .25% to continue the trend of economic growth. As By General Hux "Let the Hate flow Through you.." tioned some concern in the growing debt, Today Staff well, everyone will now be given the prime rate of .25% but this is not a major concern-according The Galactic Empire today announced an to the Emperor himself. In fact, the Emperor for ALL loans in order to assure that all Imperial tax reve- nue is maximized, due to an upcoming capital investment end to the Blaster standard today. Previ- has assigned his personally controlled Im- Record Job Growth in Storm trooper industry! perial Central Bank to buy over $900 billion project the Empire is undertaking. ously, Imperial units could be traded in for a blaster rifle at any Galactic Empire By Darth Maul in Imperial Savings Bonds with 0% interest, Imperial banks have also had their reserve ratio dropped Today Staff Bank at a fixed rate. The removal of this in order to correctly and perfectly support to 2%. The Empire's own economic analysts have shown standard will make Imperial Units fiat-a The Imperial Empire once again experienced rapid job growth this the Emporer's proposed budget this to be more than safe for all parties in the system. brilliant move by the Empire, as it both quarter. In the unpaid Storm trooper sector, job growth was at a new Personally, this writer believes in the gov- In this writer's opinion, the banking system of the Empire allows for unlimited positive growth and high of +18% in just three months. Some narrow-minded rebel scum ernment 100% and thinks that all worries is looking to bright days ahead for now and always- prevents blaster rifles from getting into analysts worry as technology and industrial production jobs, which are ill-founded, and those who think such thank you Emperor Palpatine! the hands of rebel scum. are paid higher wages, decreased by 6%, but they are traitors and things will be tracked down by an imperial will be found. probe droid and destroyedThe Empire Today Empire finally eliminates wasteful Holiday Season Approaching Welfare to be removed Imperial Unemployment Released Minimum Wage with a flurry of spending.. By Admiral Piett By Jango Fett By Jabba the Hutt By Kylo Ren Today Staff Today Stoff Today Staff Today Staff Due to the economic boom being experienced The latest unemployment numbers have been un- The Empire announced recently With the Emperor's birthday fast ap- throughout the Empire, the Imperial welfare veiled, and the numbers look great for the Imperial that they have eliminated mini- proaching, shoppers are going crazy, system has been disbanded. Welfare will no Empire. After the previous three years at 5% unem- mum wage, Although some rebel according to industry insiders. With longer be given to the unemployed. It is be- ployment, the Empire has moved up to an incredible scum worker's advocated groups the economic prosperity being felt lieved that with the economic growth being felt 2% unemployment. Consumer spending is up, due to are saying this is a huge mistake, around the Empire, retailers are ex- in the Empire, that welfare is no longer needed. the increased jobs, and people are in general happy the government correctly believes pecting a record turnout in the stores This writer believes that this is an excellent about the situation. Some rebel scum economic ex- This blueprint was discovered by an independent investiga- in it. According to government over the next few weeks. Add to this move, as those lazy unemployed rebel scum will perts are claiming that this growth seems unprece tion led by someone from Botham. According to the finally be motivated to go out and join the work- official statement of Emporer Palpatine, its nothing and it sources, the idea behind the move the projected consumer spending dented, and are wondering if this is a permanent situ- should be ignored.. We completely agree. is that by decreasing the minimum increase for the year of +40% over force, a workforce that is consistently and forev- ation for the Imperial economy. They claim that 5% is wage, it will encourage even more last year, and things are flying faster er growing. There are plenty of openings in the people believe their job is meaning- the natural rate of employment. employment by spreading out than my grandpa's Tie Interceptor! I areas of weapons testing subjects and force less and even harmful to others. profit to an increasingly larger love you Grandpa. and hate you power dummies, to start. On top of these outstanding numbers, a recent impe- Once it was learned the Emperor workforce. The government de- Mom and Dad! rial survey across the known galaxy showed 70% of himself would oversee this survey, clared this plan to be perfect and that 70% fell to .2% - still too high. fool-proof in nature, and this writ- er agrees. The Economy of the Empire is on the Rise, investment in Coruscant approved businesses Overall, most economic experts are expecting but not "of Skywalker" whose name means was up 40%. Of course, these businesses a huge year for the Empire on the economic Pinup Man of the Month Kylo's Korner Rebel Scum! make up 90% of the Empire's total business front. The ones that are not are traitors who This Sunday, in our special By Captain Phasma investment opportunities. Add to this the will be found and obliterated features magazine, check out Today Staff news that imports from the outer rim are up Kylo's tribute to his super Investment is on the rise in the Empire, ac- 90%, and everything is economically cheery! WANTED ADS: awesome grandpa, and his hate cording to the latest numbers. A survey of All hail Emperor Palpatine the glorious forev- $5000 Imperial Credit Award for capture of this hideous poetry to his Uncle Luke. the top ten banks in the Empire showed that er! monster Email: Palpatine@Empire.com We all hate you Luke!The Empire Today Imperial Budget budget that is both in line with their de- mand to have a balanced budget, and Fashion News Inflation numbers hold some worry, Announced one that increases spending to support says no one still to be found living By The Rancor the already booming economy". This Today Staff statement was then followed by a three The latest By Jabba the Hut tom trooper fashion Today Staf The Imperial Empire announced their hour standing ovation in support of our budget for next year, and there is a lot of budget across all galaxies. The third quarter inflation numbers have just been released. Inflation rose for the second money for Imperial projects in the budg- Despite this very positive budget, which straight quarter, reaching 9.5%. annual, a 5 percent increase from last year. The CPI increased et. Currently, 75% percent of the budget appears to be balanced, and spends to 180 as a result. This is the highest level of inflation the Empire has seen ever. Some ana- has been pledged to the areas of tie 100% of the increased revenue found in Cost of Energy lysts are worried, but this reporter was unable to determine why, as the Emperor knows full fighter construction, storm trooper train- the economic boom through taxation, well that the Galactic Empire will gladly pay whatever prices the Emperor deems fit for any ing, AT-AT development and an as of yet some experts had some worries. Increasing price-no matter what! un-named capital project of "immense" By Supreme Leader Snoke proportions. This spending is a new rec- One rebel scum said the policy was far Today Staff ord number, and means that govern- too expansionary considering the econo- According to a recent Coruscant Imperial Banks given free reign to print Credits at will! ment spending in the economy will be my is already booming. This piece of worm ridden filth went on to say that University study, the cost of energy By Greedo up 80% this year over last year. is increasing, especially in the indus- Today Staff the tax rate might be too high. Other The government also said that to en- expert Imperial economists called that trial and manufacturing sectors. The According to a decree from Lord Vader, all Imperial banks have been ordered to print Imperial courage further economic growth, taxes expert a piece of bantha fodder. study provides evidence that aggre- Credits for the purpose of increasing the imperial credit supply. With everyone in the econo- would be raised to a very fair flat tax of gate supply in the economy may my making imperial credits hand over foot, it only makes sense to add more imperial credits 95%. decrease next year by 5% at any to the circular flow of the galactic economy. You know what I always say-when it comes to price level due to this added cost to The Emperor announced the new budget increasing the circular flow, always shoot first! production. in front of his gracious puppet parlia ment, aka Lord Vader. The Empire has sent the writer of Imperial Kid's Corner... Hey kids! Match the Rebel Scum to their fate! this report to the planet Mustafar "This is a great day for the Empire!" her- with some economic re-education Activate Windo alded our glorious leader. "Today, the lessons to be taught by Lord Vader. Go to Sett Sarlacc Pit! people of the Empire are receiving a Everyone supports the budget as much as the Rancor Enjoy you piece of worn-ridden filth