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Can someone correct this for me please. Online Technology Specific purpose: I want to persuade the audience why children under the age of 12 should

Can someone correct this for me please.
Online Technology
Specific purpose: I want to persuade the audience why children under the age of 12 should not be allowed to have an electronic devices.
Introduction
I. Now a day technology uses are increase day by day. As we can see even 2 years old are using tablet and smartphones. Do you know the risks?
II. I will show you why children under the age of 5 should not be allowed to have an electronic devices.
III. Technology can be useful depending on how someone is using it and the age of the person who is using it. Is a smart phone, tablet devices, television are beneficial to children under the age of five? Should children be allowed to have full access to technology before the age of five. The answer should be resounding no.Technology can be useful depending on how someone is using it and the age of the person who is using it. Is a smart phone, tablet devices, television are beneficial to children under the age of five? Should children be allowed to have full access to technology before the age of five. The answer should be resounding no.
IV. In order to show you why children under the age of fine should not owning a smartphone or a tablet, I have done research and as a sister of four brother, I have observed how technology slowly affecting children on many ways.
V. Some of the impact of electronic devices on children that will be discussed are how electronic can affect children health, social issues.There are many reason why parents should not let children under the age of five to have a smartphone or having access to electronic devices. Therefore, parents or responsible should take their responsibility to protect their children safety
Body
I. To begin, I am going to show you how electronic devices could affect children's health.
A. First, electronic device can affect children under the age of five learning and development.
1. According to Jane Brody, an editor of the New York Time, in an article stated that Before age 2 or five , children should not be exposed to any electronic media because a childs brain develops rapidly during these first years ,and they learn best by interacting with people not screen.(Brody)
2. These devices may replace the hands-on activities important for the development of sensorimotor and visual-motor skills, which are important for the learning and application of simple math skill.(Brody)
B. Second, heavy use of electronic media can have significant negative effects on childrens vision.
1. According to a News Reporter-Staff News Editor at Obesity, Fitness and Wellness Week stated that children as young as two can be seen watching a cartoon on a tablet or playing game on a cell phone for more that 8 hours a day. This lead to eyes problem because children at this age do not literally blink their eyes
2. Since children are spending a large portion of the day in front of a screen they will face some physical issue like eyestrain, blurred vision and dry eyes.
C. Third, Life style and corporation of technology causing children to experience poor posture syndromes.
1. The experienced back pain because the do not sit properly when the are using their electronic devices.
2. Another common issue caused by technology on children under the age of five is sleeping problem.
II. Next, I'm going to show you why tablet or smartphone can affect social and emotional development on children .
A. Online technology or a smartphone is not necessary to children because it affects their social interaction as human beings.
1. According to Sara Lappe a board Certified General Pediatrician Practicing at Cleveland Clinic Childrens stated that children at this age tend to stay inside for the whole day playing on their phone and they do not pay attention to anything or anyone other than their electronic devices. (Lappe)
2. Children under the age of five who spend a lot of time consuming media have low self-esteem and more difficulty socializing because the they dont spend time interacting with others face to face and the have no learning crucial skill in emotional recognition,according to Lappe in the US News.
B. Another cause is sense of Isolation.
1. People who tend to be on their electronic device all the time have a lack of focus and their electronic devices make them feel more unrelated and lonely.(Lappe)
2.However, the same thing will happen to children who are using electronic device under age of five. (Lappe)
C. Technology or online devices can be dangerous for children at this age because they have access to surfing in the internet and it creating a deep and irreversible chasm between parent and children
1.It causes children to disobey their parents most of the times. for example the can take their parents credit card to purchase game online.Even their parents take them somewhere,they would not get along with others .(Lappe)
2. Another reason is that it can be dangerous for children at this age to surfing in the internet under their parent supervision is because the can put to much information online which can cause identity lost.(Lappe)
Conclusion
I To conclude, Parents or responsible shou not allowed children under the age of five to have full access to online technology under their supervision because it is not advantageous. However, after questioned some parents, the think it is favorable and obligatory for their children to have full access to online technology or having a smartphone because the assume it helps children to discover the world . On the other hand, the consequences cost more that the ability to discover.the world.
Works Cited
"Visionworks and Independence Blue Cross Team Up for Save Your Vision Week." Obesity, Fitness & Wellness Week 23 Mar. 2013: 135. Health Reference Center Academic. Web. 19 June 2017.

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