Case #5: Bethany Freeze(Adapted from Morrison, 1995)

"She hardly ever wants to do it," said James Freezeto the marriage therapist. That's not quite accurate," Bethany responded. "The truth is, I never want to do it. It's disgusting."

When they got married three years earlier, Bethany had been uninterested in sex, though receptive to the idea of it. "It seems to mean a lot to him, so I put up with it," she explained. "But he was never satisfied. No matter how often we made love, a few days later there he was, wanting more. It got old fast." "It is the usual expectation," her husband remarked dryly, "and its not my fault how she was brought up." In Bethany's family, like so many others, sex was never discussed and nudity was not allowed. Ernestine could never remember having much curiosity about sex, let alone interest. She had been an only child. "I assume her parents only did it once," offered James. For the first few months, Bethany would simply lie still and think about other things, enduring what was a basically boring activity for her because it was important to her new husband. Her gynecologist had assured her that as far as her anatomy and hormones were concerned, she was completely normal. Unless she was figuring out whether it was time to start taking her new prescription of birth control pills, she never thought about sex.

"God knows, I never dream about it," Bethany said.

"Maybe if he'd led up to it more, it would have helped. His idea of foreplay is half an hour of David Letterman and a slap on the butt." She had once tried to explain this to James, but he had only called her "frigid." That was the last word they had exchanged on the subject until now.

Now James pretty much ignored Bethany. She undressed in the closet; they slept on the two edges of their king-sized bed. She didn't know where he was getting his sex these days, but it wasn't at home and she said she didn't care.

"At least he doesn't have to worry that I'd try to cut it off, like that Bobbit woman," Bethany said, "I don't even like to look at it, let alone touch it with a 10-inch knife."