CAUSALITY IMPLIES CONNECTION, CONTACT OF SOME KIND. AND BUT IN A WAY GATSBY'S PRISTINE BOOKS IF FITZGERALD'S OWN LIFE HADN'T TURNED FOR A WILD MOMENT I ENTERTAINED THE IDEA THAT MY FATHER HAD TIMED HIS HOWEVER CONVINCING THEY MIGHT BE, YOU CAN'T LAY HANDS ON AND MY FATHER'S WORN ONES SIGNIFY DEATH WITH THIS IN MIND, AS SOME SORT OF DERANGED TRIBUTE. THE SAME THING--THE PREFERENCE OF FROM FAIRY TALE TO TRAGEDY, WOULD A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. A FICTION TO REALITY. HIS STORIES OF DISENCHANTMENT HAVE THE IDEA RESONATED SO DEEPLY WITH MY FATHER? THAT I CAUSED HIS BUT THAT WOULD ONLY CONFIRM DEATH BY DAD? I NEED A THAT HIS DEATH WAS NOT MY TELLING MY CHECK. FAULT. THAT, IN FACT, IT HAD PARENTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL. I WAS A LESBIAN IS PERHAPS ILLOGICAL. Zalda, Scott and Scottie on the Riviera, 1924 THERE'S A SCENE IN THE GREAT GATSBY WHERE A DRUNKEN PARTY GUEST IS CARRIED GATSBY IN THE POOL. ZELDA IN THE ASYLUM. SCOTT IN HOLLYWOOD, AN ALCOHOLIC, AWAY BY THE DISCOVERY THAT THE VOLUMES IN GATSBY'S LIBRARY ARE NOT CARD- DYING OF A HEART ATTACK AT FORTY-FOUR. BOARD FAKES. WHAT FOR? "WHAT THOROUGHNESS, WHAT REALISM!" HE EXCLAIMS. "KNEW WHEN TO STOP, TOO. DIDN'T CUT THE PAGES!" AND I'M RELUCTANT TO LET GO OF THAT LAST, TENUOUS BOND. MY FATHER WAS FORTY- WHAT. FOUR WHEN HE DIED, TOO. STRUCK BY THE COINCIDENCE, I COUNTED OUT THEIR LIFESPANS. THE SAME NUMBER OF MONTHS, THE SAME NUMBER OF WEEKS... BUT FITZGERALD LIVED THREE DAYS LONGER. Telda WRITE IT OUT AND I'LL SIGN IT. Zalle A MY FATHER'S BOOKS--THE HARDBOUND ONES WITH THEIR RAGGED DUST JACKETS, THE PAPERBACKS WITH SOME NEW MAD THEIR CREASED SPINES--HAD CLEARLY BEEN READ. BOOKS. THEY COST $3.70. 85 86