Exercise 5. Wanted: Relationships

Purpose:To have each student assess the type of person he or she prefers in various situations; to demonstrate that relationship needs differ from situation to situation.

Instructions:

A. Write three "want ads" (of the singles magazine variety) advertising for people to fill three different types of relationship "vacancies" in their lives. The student should also describe him/herself in each of the ads.

a. Advertise for a person with whom you wish to establish a working relationship.

b. Advertise for a person with whom you wish to have a friendship.

c. Advertise for a person with whom you would like to develop a long term spousal relationship.

B. Compile two lists; one that shows characteristics which are uniform in all three ads and one that indicates which characteristics are distinct from one ad to another.

How do the ads reflect your goals for each of these relationships?

What role does impression management play in these ads? Do you present the same "self" for each of the ads?

What does the exercise tell you about yourself? Any surprises?

C. Report your responses to the questions and include the ads.

REPORT THE RESULTS IN YOUR PERSONAL JOURNAL

Exercise 6. Okay, One Secret Each Per Week

Purpose:To identify topics and contexts that are appropriate for self-disclosure

Instructions:

A. Complete the Self-Disclosure Survey, as instructed on the survey.

B. Respond to the following questions: Why is self-disclosure risky? When is it appropriate? What determines appropriateness? What can be gained by appropriate self-disclosure?

C. Report conclusions.

SELF-DISCLOSURE SURVEY

Directions:Label each of the statements below:

L(low risk), meaning you believe it is appropriate to disclose this information to almost any person;

M(medium risk), meaning you believe it is appropriate to disclose this information to persons you know pretty well and have already established a friendship relationship with;

H(high risk), meaning you believe it is appropriate to disclose such information only to the few friends you have great trust in or to the persons you regard as your most intimate friends; or

X (extreme risk), meaning you would disclose it to no one.

___ 1. Your hobbies, how you like best to spend your spare time.

___ 2. Your preferences and dislikes in music.

___ 3. Your educational background and record and your feelings about them.

___ 4. Your personal views on politics.

___ 5. Your religious views and your religious participation.

___ 6. Your personal habits that bother you.

___ 7. Your personal characteristics that make you proud.

___ 8. The details on the unhappiest moments in your life.

___ 9. The details of the happiest moments of your life.

___ 10. The actions you have most regretted and why.

___ 11. Your guiltiest secret.

___ 12. Your views on the way a husband and wife should live in their marriage.

___ 13. The main unfulfilled dreams in your life.

___ 14. What you do, if anything, to stay physically fit.

___ 15. The aspects of your body you are most pleased with.

___ 16. The features of your appearance you are most displeased with.

___ 17. The person in your life whom you most resent and the reason why.

___ 18. The person in your life whom you most admire and the reason why.

___ 19. Your most significant fears.

___ 20. The people with whom you have been sexually intimate and the circumstances of your

relationship with each.

When you have completed this list for yourself, go back through it and label the items again, responding to each item with the label (L, M, H, or X) that you think represents the way "most people" would respond to it.

REPORT THE RESULTS IN YOUR PERSONAL JOURNAL