Grandparental Rights

Most grandparents and grandchildren adore one another. But does this matter? Researchers say yes. Having good relationships with grandparents is good for development. However, grandparents are more luxuries than necessities in development, and children can grow up fine without them too. What are some of the luxuries that grandparents afford?

• Grandparents can help children feel loved and secure. Children can never be given too much security and trust, or feel too accepted and understood. Being a grandparent used to be about authority and power. It still is a little bit in some families. But these days, being a grandparent is more about warmth and affection.
• Grandparents can help children to know, trust, and understand other people. Children can learn that other members of the family can be just as comforting as their father and mother. And they can also learn to adjust to the way the grandparents think and feel and learn rules that are different from those that their mothers and fathers think are important. They learn how to be flexible and adjust to the ways others act.
• Grandparents help children to bridge the gap between the past and the present. Most children enjoy hearing their grandparents tell about life when they were growing up. This gives children a sense of history, of what has gone before and the way life was back in the old days. It helps them to have a broader base in their lives and build new knowledge. This knowledge about their culture and family heritage helps children develop an identity based upon their forebears as well as the present.
• Grandparents can provide children with experiences and supervision that their parents do not have the money or time to provide. Most grandparents are called upon to babysit and enjoy doing so. And because grandparents may be in a position in life where they are more financially secure than parents, they can afford to help the young families of their children meet their needs or have experiences that would otherwise be a luxury.
• Grandparents--as a result of years of living--can give children a sense of values and a philosophy of life. Not everything new is good and everything old is bad. In this sense, grandparents play the traditional role of valued elders sharing the wisdom of the ages with their grandchildren.
• Grandparents can give children a whole new attitude towards old age. In our culture where youth is virtually worshiped, children need to know and learn to respect their elders. By getting to know their grandparents, children can learn what the aged are like and can love and respect them as part of the family. And grandparents are also models to young people about their future role as a grandparent.

Challenges in grandparenting

Expectations about grandparents vary greatly and rights and responsibilities are not well defined. Among other things, becoming a grandparent, unlike most other transitions, is neither voluntary nor self-determined. And some grandparents cause problems. When problems occur, they usually arise over some of the following situations.

• Grandparents are often puzzled about the roles they're expected to play in their relationship with their grandchildren. If they take too much interest and assume too much responsibility, they are accused of taking over the relationship or of meddling. If they do not pay very much attention, they are accused of neglect.
• Grandparents may have different ideas about raising children. Sometimes grandparents have sound ideas, but if their ideas conflict with those of parents, disagreements develop. Grandparents need to be careful not to undermine the authority and discipline of parents. If a grandparent interferes while the parent is disciplining the grandchildren, such interference causes rebellion and resentment and does harm. Children get mixed up when they don't know what to expect, whether to follow the grandparent's rules or the rules of their parents.
• Grandparents tend to give unsolicited advice to parents and grandchildren and to preach. This tendency may cause rebellion, especially in young parents who need an opportunity to work out their own rules and their procedures with their children. It may cause resentment on the part of older grandchildren also, who do not like to be told what to do, or who feel it is their parent's prerogativenot their grandparentsto guide them and direct them.
• Sometimes parents become jealous of the affection that the children develop for their grandparents. An insecure parent, in particular, may develop deepseated resentment at the fact that the children seem to love the grandparent more than they love the parent. Such a mother or father is not emotionally mature or secure in the child's love, and this insecurity poses a problem for the grandparent. This is why grandparents have to realize that the child belongs to the parent, not to the grandparent.
• Some grandparents become too possessive of their grandchildren. Grandparents who need love and affection and attention, or who are lonely, may use their grandchildren to fill their own empty life. Grandparents need to remember that being a grandparent is not a full-time career. They have to continue their own lives and not get so wrapped up in the lives of their children and grandchildren.

Assignment

Part 1. The job description of a grandparent.

All of us at some point or another has or will be in the position of responding to a job advertisement. I am attaching a sample to this assignment. Look it over before continuing with the assignment. At a minimum, a job description will include an overview of the job duties and skills required. For the first part of this assignment, I want you to write a fictional job description, this time one that outlines the responsibilities and skills of being a grandparent. At a minimum, your job description should contain a description of the Duties and Responsibilities and Qualifications and Skills required. But feel free to have fun with it and add other sections if you please.

Part 2. Grandparents' Rights.

In class, we discussed the challenges grandparents face around having a right to spend time with and visit grandchildren. We examined the Alabama legal statutes around this. I am attaching a PDF available from the Encyclopedia of Everyday Law that lists grandparent visitation rights state by state. Browse this list. Nearly every state indicates that the decision should be based on the child's best interests, but not all. Almost every state has some provision for what happens when a child is adopted, although some states terminate grandparents' rights and others guarantee it. States like Nebraska have provisions for whether the child was born out of wedlock, while others do not. A few states like Rhode Island expressly consider the quality of the grandchild and grandparent bond before deciding.

Nearly every state requires the judge to consider the best interests of the child to be a factor in determining whether grandparents should be able to visit their grandchildren over the objections of the child, the child's parent(s), step-parent, adoptive parent, or a personal or an individual or agency guardian. What on earth does this mean? Best interest is a benchmark that surfaces in many, many legal settings involving children. No one person or statute defines it. It is a judgment. It is generally addressed first by asking, would this be harmful to the child? Then asking Would this be beneficial to the child? The challenge is in the details, however. What is harmful and what is beneficial?

1. Provide a succinct but sufficient description of what you think a judge should look for and consider when determining whether a particular grandparent is going to have a beneficial effect on their grandchild?
2. Provide a succinct but sufficient description of what you think a judge should look for and consider when determining whether a particular grandparent is going to hurt their grandchild?
3. Review the state-by-state list I have provided. Locate the state that is your state of legal residence. Provide your impression of the adequacy of the statute that applies to your state. Some of you (e.g., Florida) may find that your state is a mess or offers no guidance. If a state offers no or only minimal guidance, then local judges are left up to their discretion. Some think this is a good thing and it can be, but it can also mean that practices vary from place to place and are subject to whatever racial, ethnic, religious, etc. preconceptions and commitments the particular judge has. Grandparents in these places may find they can have different rights if they lived 10 miles up the road.
4. Take a second look at the state-by-state list I have provided. Identify a state other than your home state that has, in your opinion, the best guidance and practices surrounding grandparent visitation rights. Then describe why you feel that way or what you like about that state's approach.

Grading Guidelines

1. In part 1, your job description need not be elaborate but it must contain sections that have a 1) Duties and Responsibilities and 2) Qualifications and Skills section at a minimum and each of these sections must have at least 3 elements or items.
2. In part 1, your description must demonstrate an appreciation that the task of being a grandparent is influenced by being of differing age, generation, setting, and legal standing than the parent(s).
3. You must cover all four elements in Part 2 for full credit