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The past couple of weeks have been challenging balancing work. However, despite the feeling of being overwhelmed, I have been able to make it through the past week. I still attempt to fill my every waking moment with a distraction from my mind but I know that it's futile. I know this coming week is going to be the same, or maybe even worse. I'm practicing being mindful in everyday life by being more present at home and not being on my phone as often and trying to spend time with my family, hell even just talk with them more, to hopefully make up for the past decade I pushed them away in my depression. This part is going alright, and I think it is something that is very much overdue, and something I wish I had more help doing. I've been trying to reach out to my sisters more as well, they also moved away when I was young and I missed a lot of time I wish I had with them. The good thing is they want to make up for the lost time too, but we all have busy schedules and they don't want to be around the house because of their own history. Even writing this and thinking about them and the past brings unmentionable thoughts to my mind. Hell every activity in this class leaves me teary-eyed and more frustrated about my inability to get help for my mental health. I least like writing for this class because it makes all these thoughts come to the surface and it hurts so much I want to quit, but I literally don't have the money to leave, so I have to at least get the credit. Anyway breathing is going alright, it still brings me no calm or peace of mind. I find that just letting myself feel what I feel and letting it flow helps significantly more. If I wanna cry I'm not gonna breath and force it down, like I have year after year, until I explode. I find letting yourself just go through the emotion for a second and then letting it pass helps much more. If you feel you're going to explode from anger or breakdown from sadness, remove yourself from the situation and let yourself feel it, if you are unable to remove yourself, yes breathing might help but you still need to let yourself feel the emotions later. It's something, one of a few things, I learned from my old counselor.