Humans want.Based on our fears and hopes, our expectations and desires, we relate to the world and each other, seeking responses from each other.When we want something that we aren't getting, we pursue it.When someone wants something and we don't know how to give back, or don't want to, we distance from them.

Emotion-focused family therapy initially pays particular attention to the roles of pursuer and distancer. Discuss two relationships in your life, one where you had more wants and pursued, and one where someone else's wants and needs made you want to withdraw and get distance from them.