Question
I just need someone to proofread my last two concepts of Bowen family theory, sibling position and societal regression, here is the background used for
I just need someone to proofread my last two concepts of Bowen family theory, sibling position and societal regression, here is the background used for the analysis
Background
My family consists of four members, my father "Hany", my mother "Maha," my sister "Diana" and myself "Marian," the index person. My parents lived in Saudi Arabia for ten years right after they got married. I was born in Saudi Arabia and lived there for five years before moving to Egypt. We are an Egyptian Christian Orthodox family who adheres to customs and traditions. I was raised in my Christian family, who insisted on attending a Christian school that was managed by nuns, as they believed it was the best option for us and for our family's religious values. Our religion and practices were important and strict in my childhood, it was essential for my family to attend the liturgy every Sunday morning. As an adult, I completed my bachelor's degree in business administration, then I did a career shift to work as an esthetician, and now I am completing my master's degree to become a counsellor.
My mother is a pharmacist, she worked in that field while she was in Saudi Arabia, then she switched careers to become a hair removal technician when we arrived in Egypt. My father is a Doctor of Physical Medicine and rehabilitation, and till now he is in the same field. After coming back from Saudi Arabia to Egypt, my mother and father shared a clinic, part of it a beauty center and the other part is a clinic for my father's field of physical medicine practice. When we arrived in Egypt, we went through some hard times till they both could run their own business, but it did not take that long, and they did their best to not let us feel the financial stress. They tried to make the business grow fast by spending much time working, and during that time, they were absent from home most of the time. They were trying to get better financially, and they did not care at all about having a good and healthy relationship with each other, and it was not easy to express our thoughts or emotions. Thus, they were emotionally absent, and my mother was trying to control everything all the time, even our emotions. Furthermore, I grew up seeing my parent's complicated relationship, they had conflicts, and my mother complained most of the time.
My grandparents from my mother's and father's sides had a common issue that my both grandmothers were forced to marry my grandfathers while they were teenagers, and their relationships were toxic; they caused emotional abuse to the families, which negatively affected my parents.
My grandparents from my father's side had a role in my childhood, as they were both math teachers and helped us in our studies during our school years; it was not an option in our family. Every grandchild should have math lessons with them, and they were tough and strict with their children and us as grandchildren. I think this affected my father as he was not sure how to be a good father model, and it affected us as grandchildren as we did not have a healthy relationship with them. Furthermore, there is a tradition in the family that we must have a lunch gathering every Thursday, and it was mandatory, and there were no excuses not to join it. My grandfather died while I was at the university.
My grandfather from my mother's side died the same year I was born. My grandmother had a role during my childhood, as she stayed with us for extended periods of times while my parents were absent and busy with their business. I had a good relationship with my grandmother, and my sister and I had a tradition of sleeping over every Thursday night. In the end, I can say there was no healthy family relationship in these generations.
Analysis
Sibling position has an impact on personality characteristics, as it describes the tendency of the oldest, middle, and youngest children to assume specific roles within the family due to differences in expectations, parental discipline, and other factors (Haefner, 2014). In our family system, our parents did not give extra responsibilities to the older sister, as is commonly known in most other families. However, he wished for boys before our birth. Thus, he treated us in a way to be so independent and in some situations, he reached us to deal with problems like boys, such as going to fix the car at an early age, and this is not normal in our country because mechanics in our country at no safe areas. Additionally, the main factor that negatively affected me in the presence of my older sister was that they kept comparing me with her. She is an extrovert, very sociable, like to do sports, and has high grades in school. In contrast to me, I am an introverted person, an old soul, who like quiet places like reading, not that active and due to my anxiety at school, I was not getting high grades. Thus, my parents always saw me as a weird person and asked all time why you are not like my sister, which negatively affected my differentiation of self. I had very low self-esteem, and I struggled with my identity for a long time. Thompson et al. (2019) emphasized that "an individual's birth order was associated with predictable behaviors and attitudes" (p. 13), they were expecting from me all the time to be like my sister and has similar characteristics.
Societal regression is the last concept mentioned by Bowen, which is that the emotional condition of a family is influenced by the society in which it resides (Thompson et al., 2019). Clearly, the family's emotional state was influenced by the community in which we lived. My parents were focused on work and financial success, as it was one of their goals to be from the high social class and not to be different from the other parts of the family and their friends. This factor negatively affected my differentiation of self because I was raised with the concept that we should all be in the same level to be close to family and friends. Moreover, we were obligated to attend church every Sunday morning as it is a part of our values and beliefs, and if we did not practice, we would be judged that we were not good Christians, and part of it is out of fear to not make God angry. Surely, attending church part maintained my anxiety and differentiation of self, as I lived all my childhood till my early adulthood anxious about God, and it reflected that I become anxious from everyone who has authority, such as my parents, my grandparents, my teachers, and my managers at work. In the end, This highlights the significance of Societal regression, as it is crucial to be aware of how the emotional state of the family can be affected by the society in which it exists, as this can have a significant impact on the dynamics of the family, as well as how the dynamics of the family can affect the individual members of the family (Haefner, 2014).
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