irt erterning to the adv es 22-2 10 the past three years we have b nformation provided by this proble at the y on the inf to the advice on page 228, revise the sentences to eliminate the dangling 3 General readers might find the awkwand readers might find the followig sernences To examine the chemical " sample one plaque was cut inthyo the eliminate ewne the following sentences to The boats in production could be modified in time debut by choosing this method. to the advice on pages 228-29, revise the pefeming informal sentences to make them moderately 2 We are considering purchasing a digital-maging capable, diffunion-pump equipped, tuvgsten-gun formal Referring to the advice on pages 233-34, revise the the biggest problem faced by multimedia designers s hfask if they don't see a button-or, heaven ollowing sentences to eliminate clichs. a. If we are to survive this difficult period, we are going forbid if they have to make up their own buttonst the University to have to keep our ears to the ground and our noses to the grindstone. of Arizona can't figure out where to b its low-level radioactive waste, Uncle Sam could pull the plug on millions of dollars of research . At the end of the day, if everyone is on the same page and it turns out to be the wrong page, youre realy up a creek without a paddle to the advice on pages 229-31, rewrite the s. ollowing sentences to remove inappropriate use of the 2s. Referring to the advice on page 234, revise the following sentences to eliminate euphemisms Mistakes were made. Come to the reception desk when you arrive. A Downsizing our workforce will enable our division to achieve a more favorable cash-Blow profile. a. a. t with your name on it can be picked up there. to the advice on page 231, revise the b. Of course, accident statistics can be expected to show a moderate increase in response to a streamlining of the training schedule. ng sentences by replacing the vague elements 26. Referring to the advice on pages 2y4 following ser 234-35, revise the with specific information. Make up any reasonable detals a. The chemical spill in the lab caused extensive following sentences to eliminate the obvious material a. To register to take a course offered by the university you must first determine whether the university will be offering that course that semester damage. b. Analysis of the soil beneath the new stadium b. The starting date of the project had to be postponed for a certain period of time due to a delay in obtaining the necessary authorization from the Project Oversight Committee. revealed an interesting fact. 21. Referring to the advice on page 232, revise the following sentences to remove unnecessary jargon. a. We need to be prepared for blowback from the 27. Referring to the advice on page 235, revise the following sentences to remove meaningless iller a. For all intents and purposes, our company's long- announcement term success depends to a certain degree on various factors that are in general difficult to foresee. b. Police apprehended the perpetrator and placed her under arrest directly adjacent to the scene of the incident. following senences to eliminate sei a. Each doctor is anked to for the 32 Refeering to the advice on edure for handing b Policemen are required to live in the ci Relerring t year pnal tlin sennces the advice on pages 239-41 e to seectoeliminate the plnaned to offer you this fee glt as a smual tolen. Referring breakthrough in a. This year, the number of female evelution of our products the advice on pages 23 is expected to rise because of increased b Mentally setarded people are finding gre 5-16, sevise 29. Referning so opportunities in the service sector of the the following sentences to 34. TEAM EXERCISE Form small teams. Have on the team distribute a multipage document has written recently, either in this class or in anoh Have each member annotate a copy of the docum according to the principles of sentence effectiven discussed The complesity of the module wil hamper the ability a. of the operator in the diagnosis of problems in your aptitudes is to help The purpose of this test o in this chapter. For advice on how to b. you with the question of che decision of which major a draft effectively, see Ch. 4 p 71.Then have each team member write a summary statement about the document, highlighting its effective techniquesof Goa 36-37, revise the Referring to the advice on pages 2 folowing sentences to make them more concise a. The instruction manual for the new copier is lacking 30. tence construction and possible improvements Meet as a team, study these annotated documents an write a memo to your instructor describing the sentenc eatures cited by more than one team member, as wel as those features cited by only one member Overal what are the basik differences between the team members annotations and the summary statements Do you think that, as a general practice, it would be worthwhile to have a draft reviewed and annotated by more than one person? What have you learned abou the usefulness of peer review? TUTORIAL ning in clarity and completeness b. We remain in communication with our sales staff on a weekly basis Referning to the advice on page 237 following sentences to eliminate fancy words a. This state-of-the-art soda-dispensing module is to DETERN 31. revise the Design be uslized by Marketing Department personnel b. We have failed to furnish the proposal to the proper SIZE PAPES BIND agency by the mandated date by which such proposals must be in receipt for more practice with the concepts covered in Chapters 8-10, complete the LearningCurve activity "Persuasion, Emphasis, and Effective Sentences" in LaunchPad. NAV Desi PA e CASE 10: Revising a Document for Nonnative Speakers and for Translation As an assistant in the US. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Office of Traveler Information you've been asked to revise a policy statement on airport screening into a consumer guide for tr Your department intends to translate the guide into a dozen languages, and your manager emphasizes that the writing must be as clear and as concise as possible. To access the policy statement and get to work, go to LaunchPad. irt erterning to the adv es 22-2 10 the past three years we have b nformation provided by this proble at the y on the inf to the advice on page 228, revise the sentences to eliminate the dangling 3 General readers might find the awkwand readers might find the followig sernences To examine the chemical " sample one plaque was cut inthyo the eliminate ewne the following sentences to The boats in production could be modified in time debut by choosing this method. to the advice on pages 228-29, revise the pefeming informal sentences to make them moderately 2 We are considering purchasing a digital-maging capable, diffunion-pump equipped, tuvgsten-gun formal Referring to the advice on pages 233-34, revise the the biggest problem faced by multimedia designers s hfask if they don't see a button-or, heaven ollowing sentences to eliminate clichs. a. If we are to survive this difficult period, we are going forbid if they have to make up their own buttonst the University to have to keep our ears to the ground and our noses to the grindstone. of Arizona can't figure out where to b its low-level radioactive waste, Uncle Sam could pull the plug on millions of dollars of research . At the end of the day, if everyone is on the same page and it turns out to be the wrong page, youre realy up a creek without a paddle to the advice on pages 229-31, rewrite the s. ollowing sentences to remove inappropriate use of the 2s. Referring to the advice on page 234, revise the following sentences to eliminate euphemisms Mistakes were made. Come to the reception desk when you arrive. A Downsizing our workforce will enable our division to achieve a more favorable cash-Blow profile. a. a. t with your name on it can be picked up there. to the advice on page 231, revise the b. Of course, accident statistics can be expected to show a moderate increase in response to a streamlining of the training schedule. ng sentences by replacing the vague elements 26. Referring to the advice on pages 2y4 following ser 234-35, revise the with specific information. Make up any reasonable detals a. The chemical spill in the lab caused extensive following sentences to eliminate the obvious material a. To register to take a course offered by the university you must first determine whether the university will be offering that course that semester damage. b. Analysis of the soil beneath the new stadium b. The starting date of the project had to be postponed for a certain period of time due to a delay in obtaining the necessary authorization from the Project Oversight Committee. revealed an interesting fact. 21. Referring to the advice on page 232, revise the following sentences to remove unnecessary jargon. a. We need to be prepared for blowback from the 27. Referring to the advice on page 235, revise the following sentences to remove meaningless iller a. For all intents and purposes, our company's long- announcement term success depends to a certain degree on various factors that are in general difficult to foresee. b. Police apprehended the perpetrator and placed her under arrest directly adjacent to the scene of the incident. following senences to eliminate sei a. Each doctor is anked to for the 32 Refeering to the advice on edure for handing b Policemen are required to live in the ci Relerring t year pnal tlin sennces the advice on pages 239-41 e to seectoeliminate the plnaned to offer you this fee glt as a smual tolen. Referring breakthrough in a. This year, the number of female evelution of our products the advice on pages 23 is expected to rise because of increased b Mentally setarded people are finding gre 5-16, sevise 29. Referning so opportunities in the service sector of the the following sentences to 34. TEAM EXERCISE Form small teams. Have on the team distribute a multipage document has written recently, either in this class or in anoh Have each member annotate a copy of the docum according to the principles of sentence effectiven discussed The complesity of the module wil hamper the ability a. of the operator in the diagnosis of problems in your aptitudes is to help The purpose of this test o in this chapter. For advice on how to b. you with the question of che decision of which major a draft effectively, see Ch. 4 p 71.Then have each team member write a summary statement about the document, highlighting its effective techniquesof Goa 36-37, revise the Referring to the advice on pages 2 folowing sentences to make them more concise a. The instruction manual for the new copier is lacking 30. tence construction and possible improvements Meet as a team, study these annotated documents an write a memo to your instructor describing the sentenc eatures cited by more than one team member, as wel as those features cited by only one member Overal what are the basik differences between the team members annotations and the summary statements Do you think that, as a general practice, it would be worthwhile to have a draft reviewed and annotated by more than one person? What have you learned abou the usefulness of peer review? TUTORIAL ning in clarity and completeness b. We remain in communication with our sales staff on a weekly basis Referning to the advice on page 237 following sentences to eliminate fancy words a. This state-of-the-art soda-dispensing module is to DETERN 31. revise the Design be uslized by Marketing Department personnel b. We have failed to furnish the proposal to the proper SIZE PAPES BIND agency by the mandated date by which such proposals must be in receipt for more practice with the concepts covered in Chapters 8-10, complete the LearningCurve activity "Persuasion, Emphasis, and Effective Sentences" in LaunchPad. NAV Desi PA e CASE 10: Revising a Document for Nonnative Speakers and for Translation As an assistant in the US. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Office of Traveler Information you've been asked to revise a policy statement on airport screening into a consumer guide for tr Your department intends to translate the guide into a dozen languages, and your manager emphasizes that the writing must be as clear and as concise as possible. To access the policy statement and get to work, go to LaunchPad