Kenji is a freshman in college. She and Elmira have been best friends for the past two years. When Elmira started dating Marat Kenji was happy for her, but also felt left out. Kenji told Elmira and she tried to include her, which she really appreciated. Kenji didn't really know Marat before but when she began to spend so much time with him, she felt they really had a good connection.  

Kenji never intended to steal Elmira's boyfriend, but somehow, she just felt that Marat was a better match for her. One evening Marat called and wanted to hang out -without Elmira. Kenji felt that it was wrong, but she really wanted to see him, and agreed. Elmira began to get suspicious that something was going on. When she asked you about it, you told her that Marat was flirting with you but that nothing had happened. You felt confused and you didn't want to hurt her feelings. Marat promised Kenji that he would break up with her.

After Marat broke up with Elmira, he immediately asked Kenji if you would officially be his girlfriend.  Since he had already broken up with Elmira, she thought that it was ok. She knew that Elmira would probably be hurt but hoped that she would understand that Kenji and Marat genuinely care about each other and have affection for each other. Kenji is in love with Marat. She never meant to lie to Elmira or to hurt her, but you know that you have. Now Elmira is threatening to beat Kenji up and she is scared. Kenji wants Elmira to understand her side of the situation and to be happy for her and she has requested this mediation so that you can talk to her about it.  

 

 

How would you start the conversation?

 

How would you get them to see dueling perspectives?

 

What tools or questions would you ask to help them have a shared vision or goals?

 

How will you identify the key issues and what possible resolutions do you think are available in this situation?