In her e-mail Eleanor Hutchinson is reporting about a recent workshop on workplace violence she attended. However, Eleanor presents the information in a rather haphazard fashion.

    

    Your Task. Analyze the e-mail. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. Can you think of a way to improve readability? If your instructor directs, revise it.

  

    To: Mitchell Moraga 

  

    From: Eleanor Hutchinson 

  

    Subject: My Report

  

    Cc:  

  

Mitchell,

  

This is in response to your request that I attend the Workplace Issues and tell you about it. As you know, I attended the Workplace Issues conference on November 3, as you suggested. The topic was how to prevent workplace violence, and I found it very fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious incidents at our company, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Because I was the representative from our company and you asked for a report, here it is. Kit Adkins was the presenter, and she made suggestions in three categories, which I will summarize here. 

    

Ms. Atkins cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise companies do not offer employment until

  

after a candidate’s background has been checked. Just the mention of a background check is enough to make some candidates withdraw.

  

These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide.

    

A second suggestion was that companies should prepare a good employee handbook that outlines what employees should do when they suspect potential workplace violence. This handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous. 

    

A third recommendation had to do with recognizing red-flag behavior. This involves having companies train managers to recognize signs of potential workplace violence. What are some of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with coworkers. Another sign is extreme changes in behavior or statements indicating depression over family or financial problems. Another sign is bullying or harassing behavior. Bringing a firearm to work or displaying an extreme fascination with firearms is another sign. 

      

I think that the best recommendation is prescreening job candidates. This is because it is most feasible. If you want me to do more research on prescreening techniques, do not hesitate to let me know. Let me know by November 18 if you want me to make a report at our management meeting, which is scheduled for December 3. 

  

Ellie

  

1. List at least five weaknesses of this e-mail message.

  

2. Outline a writing plan (not the actual message) for this message.

  

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    Opening:  

  

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    Closing: