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Original writing: The Coca - Cola Co . is testing a new vending machine that lets thirsty consumers buy a Coke by dialing a phone

Original writing:
The Coca-Cola Co. is testing a new vending machine that lets thirsty consumers buy a Coke by dialing a phone number located on the machine near the coin slot. Dial the number and out pops your pop. The wireless phone account is charged for the soda. Students and staff at the Institute of Technology in Helsinki are using the prototype. Coke says it is waiting to see how the phone-ready vending machine fares there before possibly rolling it out elsewhere, maybe even in the U.S.(Pappas,1999, p.45).
Is this an acceptable paraphrase?
The Coca-Cola Company has developed a prototype vending machine that allows people to use their cell phone to order a soft drink. Customers can charge their desired beverage to their wireless phone account by simply calling the telephone number posted on the machine. Coca-Cola is currently testing their invention in Finland with students and staff at the Institute of Technology in Helsinki. If the trials are successful, Coca-Cola is considering introducing its invention into American and international markets. (Pappas,1999, p.45)
Original writing:
The Coca-Cola Co. is testing a new vending machine that lets thirsty consumers buy a Coke by dialing a phone number located on the machine near the coin slot. Dial the number and out pops your pop. The wireless phone account is charged for the soda. Students and staff at the Institute of Technology in Helsinki are using the prototype. Coke says it is waiting to see how the phone-ready vending machine fares there before possibly rolling it out elsewhere, maybe even in the U.S.(Pappas,1999, p.45).
Is this an acceptable paraphrase?
The Coca-Cola Company has developed a prototype vending machine that allows people to use their cell phone to order a soft drink. Customers can charge their desired beverage to their wireless phone account by simply calling the telephone number posted on the machine. Coca-Cola is currently testing their invention in Finland with students and staff at the Institute of Technology in Helsinki. If the trials are successful, Coca-Cola is considering introducing its invention into American and international markets. (Pappas,1999, p.45)
Yes, it's an acceptable paraphrase.
No, this is patchwriting.

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