Please show me the correct format to forma-late this email.

Request Refusal: Rising Phoenix Team Sinks Application

Adobe Systems Incorporated is known for its community involvement and corporate social responsibility efforts. This is why, like most large companies, the software giant receives many requests for sponsorships of charity events and community projects. True to its innovative spirit, the software company has streamlined the application process by providing an online sponsorship request form on its website.

You work in Corporate Affairs/Community Relations at Adobe and periodically help decide which nonprofits obtain support. Just yesterday you received an e-mail from Rising Phoenix of Portland, Oregon, a dragon boat racing team of breast cancer survivors. The ancient Chinese sport has spread around the globe with competitions held not only in Asia but also in many Western countries. Dragon boat racing has gained popularity in North America among breast cancer patients who bond with fellow survivors, engage in healthy competition, and exercise regularly on the water. Synchronicity and technique are more important than brute strength, which is the main reason even recreational paddlers enjoy this fast-growing water sport.

The survivor team would like Adobe to sponsor a dragon boat festival in Portland in less than a month, an event potentially drawing at least 20 survivor teams that would compete against each other. Your company is already funding several cancer charities and has a policy of sponsoring many causes. Naturally, no corporate giving program has infinite funds, nor can it green-light every request. Adobe steers clear of religious, political, and "pornographic" events. The team judging the sponsorship entries wants to ensure that each proposal reaches audiences affiliated with Adobe. Most important, applicants must submit their requests at least six weeks before the event.

Your Task.As a junior staff member in Corporate Affairs/Community Relations, Paraphrase an e-mail to Rising Phoenix captain Jenny Johnson (..n@risingphoenix.org) refusing her initial request and explaining the Adobe sponsorship philosophy and submission rules.Be sure to follow standard email format and encourage good will in your c..n@risingphoenix.org

This was the version that I came up with, please review and make corrections.

This was my teacher comments.

Overall, this draft is still at the emergingovice level. I'm sure, even before taking this class, you were able to put together content to compose a letter. What I'm looking for is: can you apply the techniques for an effective business letter? You need to demonstrate more effectively the ability to shift from sender to audience focus, to achieve a clear purpose and to use language that is clear and concise.

To:Jenny Johnson (..n@risingphoenix.org

From: First Name Last Name

Subject: Adobe Systems Incorporated

Mr. Johnson,

I hope all is well

This is to formally notify you that we have received a letter from you concerning the Dragon Boat Festival's sponsorship in Portland. We also admire this event's cause and the inspirational stories of the cancer survivors of your dragon boat racing team. However, we regret to inform you that, due to our sponsorship philosophy and the rules for making such a bid, we will not be able to approve your initial request.

We would have liked to support you and the team, but because our company has received many requests to fund various programs, it is difficult for us to help any of them. We now have some guidelines that cater for sponsorship of activities that now fall into the following categories: 1) education arts and creativity; 2) digital media services for young people; and 3) movements in our industries.

Sadly, your event does not fall into these three categories, and we do not help your program because of this. We would also like to remind you that, should you submit another request within the categories listed, please submit it at least six weeks before the event.

We hope that your dragon boat team will succeed. We hope you can continue to inspire other people in their ways, particularly those fighting cancer. We wish you good luck and a friendly rivalry.

Thank you very much

Respectfully

First name last name

Corporate Affairs/Community

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