r Ma he I was not aware of the term cognitive dissonance until this week. Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. I find this topic interesting, but it was somewhat difficult for me to come up with an example. After taking some time to really think about what cognitive dissonance is, I feel that an example of a toxic relationship would suffice. Cognitive dissonance in a toxic relationship happens when one person in the relationship continues to deal with abuse from the other person, all the while knowing that the relationship and environment are unhealthy. I have experience with this type of cognitive dissonance, unfortunately. I have endured many years of toxicity throughout my relationship with my mother. From emotional abuse and feelings of abandonment to triangulation between my siblings and me. However, I genuinely believed she would change her ways and meet my emotional needs because as my mother, she should have loved me enough to do so. I continued to accept her behavior for many years because in the times when we were not on speaking terms, she'd always do just enough to reel me back in. Time and time again I was disappointed and hurt. If there was a though bubble over my head during that time, I would imagine it saying something like, "even though she has cut me off from the family the last 3 months and she behaves this way often, her inviting me to dinner tonight must mean she's sorry and loves me." After 33 years of this continuous, toxic relationship, and me seeking therapy to work through my issues, the resolution for my situation was to first set boundaries and hold her accountable. When that didn't work, I was left no choice but to go no- contact. It was an extremely difficult decision to follow through on, but it was necessary for my mental health and well-being.