Reframing is an essential part of mediation. In order to ensure that participants work towards resolution and not more conflict, mediators have to reframe.

How can these statements be reframed?

1). You have never done homework with the kids, you've never been to teacher conference at school -- you have never cared about being involved in their lives! Now, suddenly you think you're going to have them half the time and be parent of the year?

2). The kids are suffering! They don't want this divorce. I don't want this divorce. You are the one causing all of this.How could a mother do this to her children?

3). I can't trust anything you do with your lineup of girlfriends in the wings. I saw a $200 charge at a jewelry store -- what was that for? Sure as hell wasn't for me!And I've seen three cash withdraws all for $300 each over the past two weeks. Since when do you take cash out of the ATM. I want to know exactly what is going on here. How can he just take whatever you want whenever you want it?!?!

4). He works all the time -- day and night and weekends.He would never be able to feed the children, get them ready for bed, or even be home for them.You are living in a fantasy world if you think they are going to have any overnights with you at your house!

5). Wife:We agreed that I would always stay home with the children.I haven't worked for 10 years!You want a divorce and now somehow I have to find a job?How is that fair?We had an agreement.... I never would have left my job if I knew this would happen.

Husband talking over Wife: How am I supposed to pay you spousal maintenance when my own expenses are $4,000 per month and I only make $4,200?You're $3,000 in the hole.Am I supposed to make it magically appear?