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Talking about interests, options, and standards may be a wise, efficient, and amicable game, but what if the other side won't . play? While you

Talking about interests, options, and standards may be a wise, efficient, and amicable game, but what if the other side won't . play? While you try to discuss interests, they may state their 'position in unequivocal terms. You may be concerned with developing possible agreements to maximize the gains of both parties. They may be attacking your proposals, concerned only with maximizing their own gains. You may attack the problem on its merits; they may attack you. What c"anyou do to turn them away from positions and toward the merits? There are three basic approaches for focusing their attention on the merits. The first centers on what you can do. You yourself can concentrate on the merits, rather than on positions. This method, the subject of this book, is contagious; it holds open the prospect of success to those who will talk about interests, options, and criteria. In effect, you can change the game simply by starting to playa new one. If this doesn't work and they continue to use positional bargaining, you can resort to a second strategy which focuses on what they may do. It counters the basic moves of positional bargaining in ways that direct their attention to the merits. This strategy we call negotiation jujitsu. . The third approach focuses on what a third party can do. If neither principled negotiation nor negotiation jujitsu gets them to play, consider including a third party trained to focus the discussion on interests, options, and criteria. Perhaps the most effective tool a third party can use in such an effort is the one-text mediation procedure. The first approach-principled negotiation-has already been discussed. Negotiation jujitsu and the one-text procedure are explained in this chapter. The chapter ends with a dialogue based on an actual landlord-tenant negotiation that illustrates in detail how you might persuade an unwilling party to play, using a combination of principled negotiation and negotiation jujitsu. Negotiation jujitsu , If the other side announces a firm position, you may be tempted to criticize and reject it. If they criticize your proposal, you may be tempted to defend it and dig yourself in. If they attack you, you may be tempted to defend yourself and counterattack. In short, if they push' you hard, you will tend to push back: Yet if you do, you will end up playing the positional bargaining game. Rejecting their position only locks them in. Defending your proposal only locks you in. And defending yourself sidetracks the negotiation .into a clash of personalities. You will find yourself in a vicious cycle of attack and defense, andyou will waste a lot of time and energy in useless pushing and pulling. If pushing back does not work, what does? How can you prevent the cycle of action and reaction? Do not push back. When they assert their positions, do not reject them. When they attack your ideas, don't defend them. When they attack you, don't counterattack. Break the vicious cycle by refusing to react. Instead of pushing back, sidestep their attack and deflect it against the problem. As in the Oriental martial arts of judo, and jujitsu, avoid pitting your strength against theirs directly; instead, use your skill to step aside and turn their strength to your ends. Rather than resisting their force, channel it into exploring interests, inventing options for mutual gain, and searching for independent standards.



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