The book's first half sets the stage for Part 3 and, ultimately, Part 4. In the book's first part, we identified common themes from our discussion: avoiding outward criticism/condemnation/complaining, affirming the good in others, and connecting to core desires. In Part 2, we dug deeper to explore how these themes relate to our core values based on our observations.

The most notable theme that emerged from our Part 2 discussions was this: taking the opportunity to connect with others and show interest in other peoples' lives is paramount in the communication process.

There are many ways to go about this, and Part 3 presents ten chapters on techniques that support earning and building the trust of others. In Parts 1 and 2, we've identified that it's paramount in the communication process to connect with others and show interest in their lives. Now, let's do some work on how we can best support our goals of becoming better communicators and working toward becoming agents of change and pinnacles of leadership (Part 4).

Discussion Assignment:

There are 10 chapters in Part 3 of HTWF. For purposes of this discussion, I'd like you to pull out the three chapters that spoke to you the most in terms of the following:

1. Based on our discussions in Part 1 and Part 2, identify which chapters stood out and why these three chapters in Part 3 have significance to you. For example, you could write for one of the chapters:

"Chapter 8 stood out to me as soon as I read the following: "you are capable of doing the right, honorable, true thing." A simple message like this could convey to others that you believe in them, or even that I believe in myself, to work toward a mutual goal of making a difference."

2. In our previous discussions, we have given many examples of situations in which our core values have been either supported or violated in communicating with others, both in-person and online. Give "in-real-life" examples of how you have seen others use these techniques in the three chapters you selected or situations in which these techniques could have been applied and maybe had a different result.

3. We all have weak areas that require some personal development. That said, identify two or three of your weak areas that merit some personal development and identify an associated goal. In the greater context of Part 3, how do you plan to integrate these techniques into your "weak" areas? Do you have a tendency not to admit when you're wrong? Do you easily dismiss others' opinions? Is it hard for you to put yourself in someone else's shoes? A good example of an appropriate response to the question looks like this:

"As an example of a "weak" area, I tend to use non-verbal communication, in particular in meetings, to show my displeasure (eye-rolling, etc.) with something I don't agree with on some level (dismissing others' opinions, really). I've been aware that I do it, but in the last year, I have made a concerted effort to stop it. The reason is this: the message I'm portraying to my colleagues is dissonance and outwardly indicates that I'm unwilling to find common ground to work toward a solution.

After reading Chapter 5, "Access Affinity," it was much easier for me to go into meetings with a new perspective, "if I want my colleagues to like me and respect what I have to say, I have to knock it off and pay attention to find some commonality to get to "yes" faster, and ultimately get what I want out of it." My goal is not to be viewed as challenging to work with and to be someone who can find the value in what someone else is trying to say and integrate that value into my interactions. It is still challenging for me to contain myself, but I am much more aware of the damage I can do if I don't control it. It gets easier every day, but that is part of my journey too."