The debate about feedback at work has been ongoing for years, with managers often encouraging praise and criticism of employees' work. However, recent studies have shown that the most effective way to improve performance is through rigorous, frequent, candid, and often critical feedback. Instruction can be useful, but feedback is about telling people what they think of their performance and how they should do it better. Research shows that telling people what they think of their performance doesn't help them thrive and excel, and telling them how they think they should improve actually hinders learning.

Three theories in the business world commonly accepted as truths are the theory of the source of truth, the theory of learning, and the theory of excellence. The source of truth theory suggests that others are more aware of employees' weaknesses and that the best way to help is for them to show them what they cannot see for themselves. The learning theory suggests that the process of learning is like filling up an empty vessel, and the theory of excellence suggests that great performance is universal, analyzable, and describable.

These theories have a self-centeredness, as they assume that one's way is necessarily the other's way. However, research reveals that none of these theories are true. The more we depend on them and the more technology we base on them, the less learning and productivity we will get from others. To understand why and see the path to a more effective way of improving performance, we need to look more closely at each theory in turn.

Feedback is a significant issue due to humans being unreliable raters of others. Psycho-metricians have shown that people don't have the objectivity to accurately evaluate others on abstract qualities like business acumen or assertiveness. This phenomenon, known as the idiosyncratic rater effect, is large and resilient, resulting in more distortion than truth. Despite training on how to receive feedback, it is hard work for recipients to recognize their own characteristics.

Feedback leads to systematic error, which is magnified when ratings are considered in aggregate. This is because there are only two types of measurement error: random error, which can be reduced by averaging many readings, and systematic error, which cannot be reduced by adding more data inputs and averaging them out.

In the business world, we assume we are clear-eyed and make few errors, believing we are reliable raters of others. However, humans are not an unimpeachable source of truth in the realm of their own feelings and experiences. Doctors often don't challenge patients on their "five" rating, as they can be confident that their rating is theirs, not theirs.

In conclusion, feedback is more distortion than truth, and it is crucial to recognize and address the issues with feedback to ensure it is more accurate and reliable.

The truth about our colleagues is often hidden, and we cannot objectively know their positions. However, we can share our feelings and experiences, which can help us understand their perspectives and build on them. Learning is less about adding something new, but about recognizing, reinforcing, and refining what already exists. This is because our brains grow more in areas of greater ability, and our strengths are our development areas.

Research shows that learning is more about recognizing, reinforcing, and refining what already exists. Our strengths are our development areas, and attention to our strengths from others catalyzes learning, while attention to our weaknesses smothers it. Focusing on our strengths instead of our weaknesses impairs learning. In contrast, the parasympathetic nervous system, or "rest and digest" system, stimulates adult neurogenesis, well-being, better immune system functioning, and cognitive, emotional, and perceptual openness.

Learning happens when we see how we might do something better by adding new nuance or expansion to our own understanding. It rests on our grasp of what we're doing well, not on what we're doing poorly, and not on someone else's sense of what we're doing poorly. Learning most occurs when someone else pays attention to what's working within us and asks us to cultivate it intelligently.

In conclusion, learning is not about adding something new, but about recognizing, reinforcing, and refining what already exists.

Excellence is an idiosyncratic concept that is almost impossible to define and is relatively easy for each person to achieve. It is a natural, fluid, and intelligent expression of one's best extremes, which can be cultivated but is unforced. Excellence is not the opposite of failure, but it is often assumed that studying what leads to pathological functioning and replacing what is missing can create optimal functioning. However, this assumption is flawed, as studying disease or depression will not get you closer to happiness, divorce will not help you understand happiness, and exit interviews will not tell you why others leave.

Excellence and failure often have a lot in common, such as ineffective leaders having big egos and poor salespeople taking rejection personally. To help someone succeed, we cannot help them by holding their performance up against a prefabricated model of excellence, giving feedback on where they miss the model, and telling them to plug the gaps. This approach will only get them to adequate performance, not a piece of writing that transports the reader or a teacher who learns more.

To help people excel in their careers, it is essential to focus on identifying failures and providing feedback to avoid them. To achieve excellence, we need to look for outcomes and highlight them when they work. This can be done by creating a highlight reel of winning plays and highlighting the team member who created it. This approach helps team members understand their own personal version of excellence and improve their performance.

Replaying instinctive reactions is another technique to help people excel. Instead of simply praising or rating someone, share what you experienced when their moment of excellence caught your attention. This is more humble and powerful than judging or rating, as it is not a judgment or rating.

When a team member is catching you doing something right, ask them to describe their reaction to you. This allows them to explore the nature of excellence and see its patterns and components. Asking for the help of a leader can help make the unconscious unconscious conscious, allowing them to understand it, improve at it, and do it again.

In summary, focusing on identifying and recognizing failures and providing feedback can help people excel in their careers. By focusing on outcomes, replaying instinctive reactions, and fostering a culture of learning and improvement, we can help people excel in their careers.

In today's fast-paced business world, giving people feedback is a hot topic. However, it can be toxic and hinder growth. When a team member is dealing with a problem, it is important to focus on the present, past, and future. Start by asking the team member what they are doing right now, which can be related to the situation or entirely separate. This will alter their brain chemistry, leading them to be open to new solutions and ways of thinking.

Next, ask the team member about their past experiences with similar problems, which may have led to some way forward. Focus on what they already know works in this situation and what actions they could take right now. This approach helps them identify the solution and make decisions that will lead to improvement in the near-term future.

Given the right feedback, leaders can help their team members contribute their unique and growing talents to a common good. However, feedback alone is not enough; they must also understand that people contribute their unique talents to a common good, which is ever-evolving. We excel only when people who know us and care about us tell us what they experience and feel, and in particular when they see something within us that really works.

In summary, giving people feedback is crucial for improving performance and growth. By focusing on the present, past, and future, leaders can help their team members develop new solutions and behaviors.

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