Use what you know about sales messages to analyze the flaws in this promotional brochure. Then use the steps that follow to produce a better version. We are pleased to announce that Scruba Dub has added a new service, the Car Care Club. It costs $5.95 for a lifetime membership (your car's lifetime) and features our computer automation. You'll be given a barcoded sticker for your windshield so our computers can identify you as a club member when you pull in. If you sign up within the next 30 days, we will grant you a SuperWash for free. The new club offers the standard ScrubaDub Touch-less systems to protect your finishes, our private formula Superglo detergent to clean your car safely and thoroughly, wheel sensors to prescribe the right treatment for whitewalls, wire, or chrome, soft, heated well water to eliminate spots, soft-cloth drying for final gloss. We also recycle our water and grant you a free wash on your birthday.

In addition, club members only will have access to a 48-hour guarantee (free rewashes) or 4 days if you purchased the premium Super Wash, Luxury Wash, Special or Works Wash. After ten washes, our computer will award you a free wash. Also available only to club members are $5 rebates for foam waxes (Turtle Wax, Simonize, or Blue Coral). Some additional specials will be granted by us to car club members, on an unplanned basis.

We can handle special requests if you inquire of our Satisfaction Supervisors. We honor our customers with refunds if they remain unsatisfied after a rewash. This is our Bumper-to- Bumper Guarantee.

Describe the mistakes made by the writers of this message.

Develop a plan for improving the message. The following questions will help you organize your thinking:

What can you assume about the audience, which is made up of regular customers?

How can you use this information to develop a better opening?

Given that customers already know ScrubaDub, what can you do to improve the body of the brochure? Can you identify selling points versus benefits? What about the use of language and the tone of the text?

Does this message make effective use of the AIDA model?

How would you improve the "call to action," the point in the message that asks the reader to make a purchase decision?

Now rewrite the sales message.