Document for Analysis: Favor Refusal

Your Task.
Analyze the following poorly written letter, and list its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise it using the suggestions you learned in this chapter.
Current date
Mr. Blake Dahlke
Senior Correspondent
Marketing and Management Today
309 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10011
Dear Mr. Dahlke:
Your message has been referred to me for response. I understand you are inviting my company to participate in your research for a proposed article about “sales stars who are ascending.” Unfortunately, your request involves salaries of young salespeople. As must be apparent to any clear-thinking executive, we cannot accept your invitation to release salary information. Exposing the salaries of our salespeople—regardless of how outstanding they are—would violate their privacy, jeopardize their careers, and reveal insider information. Doing so might even violate the law. We do, however, have many outstanding young salespeople who command top salaries, and we are proud of their success. Unfortunately, during salary negotiations several years ago we reached an agreement. Both sales staff members and management agreed to keep the terms of individual contracts confidential. We could not possibly reveal specific salaries and commission rates. Since your article is to focus on star performers, you might be interested in our ranked list of top salespeople for the past five years. As I glance over the list, I see that three of our current top salespeople are under the age of 35. We have a fact sheet about all of our top salespeople, and I will include that sheet. Perhaps you can include some of this information in your article because we would like to see our company represented.
Cordially,