Document for Analysis: Poor Claim Letter

Your Task.
Analyze the following poorly written claim letter. List its weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise it.
Current date
Mr. Morgan Monroe
Modern Office Systems
210 Halsted Street
Chicago Heights, IL 60411
Dear Sir:
Recently my company purchased four of your Matrix 500 photocopiers, and we’ve had nothing but trouble ever since. Our salesperson, Sheila Feldman, assured us that the Matrix 500 could easily handle our volume of 3,000 copies a day. This seemed strange since the sales brochure said that the Matrix 500 was meant for 500 copies a day. But we believed Ms. Feldman. Big mistake! Our four Matrix copiers are down constantly; we can’t go on like this. Because they are still under warranty, they eventually get repaired. But we are losing considerable business in downtime. Because your Ms. Feldman has been less than helpful, I telephoned the district manager, Marko Santillan. I suggested that we trade in our Matrix 500 copiers (which we got for $2,500 each) on two Matrix 800 models (at $13,500 each). However, Mr. Santillan said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our Matrix 500 copiers. What a rip-off! I think that 20 percent depreciation is more reasonable since we’ve had the machines only three months. Mr. Santillan said he would get back to me, and I haven’t heard from him since. Now I’m forced to write to your headquarters because I have no faith in either Ms. Feldman or Mr. Santillan, and I need to see some action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you would see what a sweet deal I’m offering you. I’m willing to stick with your company and purchase your most expensive model—but I can’t take such a steep loss on the Matrix 500 copiers. These copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all the money you will save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our underpowered Matrix 500 copiers! Please let me hear from you immediately.
Sincerely yours,