1. Eliminate words that say nothing. You may use different words.

a. There are many businesses that are active in community and service work.

b. The purchase of another computer for the claims department will allow us to produce form letters quickly. In addition, return on investment could be calculated for proposed repairs. Another use is that the computer could check databases to make sure that claims are paid only once.

c. Our decision to enter the South American market has precedence in the past activities of the company.

2. Combine sentences to show how ideas are related and to eliminate unnecessary words.

a. Some customers are profitable for companies. Other customers actually cost the company money.

b. If you are unable to come to the session on HMOs, please call the human resources office. You will be able to schedule another time to ask questions you may have about the various options.

c. Major Japanese firms often have employees who know English well. U.S. companies negotiating with Japanese companies should bring their own interpreters.

d. New procedure for customer service employees:

Please be aware effective immediately, if a customer is requesting a refund of funds applied to their account a front and back copy of the check must be submitted if the transaction is over $500.00. For example, if the customer is requesting $250.00 back, and the total amount of the transaction is $750.00, a front and back copy of the check will be needed to obtain the refund.