Gibb argues that spontaneous rather than strategic communication reduces defensiveness. However, in some situations a strategic approach may hold the promise of a better climate than a completely honest message. Consider situations such as these:

a. You don’t find your partner very attractive. He or she asks, “What’s the matter?”

b. You intend to quit your job because you hate your boss, but you don’t want to offend him or her. How do you explain the reasons for your departure?

c. You are tutoring a high school student in reading or math. The student is sincere and a hard worker but is perhaps the most dull-witted person you have ever met. What do you say when the teenager asks, “How am I doing?”