There are five grade levels of responses you might give to people who have come to you needing assistance in sorting out their problems and feelings.

Grade A. These responses are the most useful in establishing rapport and encouraging a continued dialogue:

• Centers on the client entirely
• Stays on the topic (responds to the client’s feelings or the content of what the client has said)
• Addresses what is most important at that moment to the client
• Is respectful (indicates the client is an equal; indicates the client is a person worthy of being understood)
• Invites collaboration
• Shows confidence in the client

Grade B. These responses are helpful but could be better:

• Is somewhat confident of the client’s abilities
• Minimal invitation to collaborate
• May briefly stray off the topic
• Is just a little superior

Grade C. These responses are usually made by someone who means well, but they are not especially helpful responses:

• Is pleasant, but superior
• Overly helpful without collaborating
• Introduces new topics that seem to the worker to be more relevant
• Misses the feelings
• Does not address the content
• Confuses the worker’s situation with the client’s situation

Grade D. These responses are not useful in establishing rapport and do not encourage a further exchange:

• Takes over with solutions
• Spends little time listening; is abrupt
• Moralizes and preaches
• Ignores the client’s assets and strengths
• Shows minimal interest
• Does not indicate respect for the client

Grade E. These responses are mean-spirited and damage the relationship irreparably:

• Uses denigrating labels and descriptions of the client or the client’s actions
• Shows no interest in the client
• Denigrates feelings of the client
• Denigrates the content of what the client has said
• Intimidates, humiliates, or threatens the client (berates and scolds the client)
• Leaves the topic for one entirely unrelated

Following are some vignettes that demonstrate the various grade levels of responses. Look at each response, and assign a grade to each one. Next, using the preceding material on grade levels, tell specifically why you think the response should receive the grade you assigned to it.

Vignette 1

A man has come to your agency for help after he lost everything in a fire. The worker asks the man to tell her what happened. He describes the night the fire took place, but as he approaches the actual incident, he finds it more and more difficult to talk.

first worker’s response: “This is really difficult for you. Would you like to wait a minute?”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

second worker’s response: “Now, this is all over, Mr. Brown. It happened days ago. You need to be thinking about moving on and getting on with your life.”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

third worker’s response: “This must have been awful for you! Excuse me a minute.” Turning to the secretary in another room, “I heard the phone ring, Sue. Was that the attorney calling? Tell him that we need that file before we can do anything for his client.” Turning back to the client, “Now, where were we, Mr. Brown?”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

fourth worker’s response: “I’m really wondering if you can handle this! I’m going to call mental health and set up an appointment for you. Why, you’re a wreck!”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

fifth worker’s response: “I can see it’s difficult for you to talk about this. I’d like to work with you to see if we can find some ways to help you. I have some thoughts that I think might help, and I’m sure you do too.”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

Vignette 2

A young woman enters a shelter after she and her boyfriend, with whom she is living, have had a fight. She has been badly beaten. She seems to want to talk and remains in the office even after the worker has completed the admitting forms. She is rather quiet, however, and does not volunteer much information.

first worker’s response: “Yeah, another case of the violent boyfriend. Here we go again. You’d think you women would stop seeing these guys before it gets to this.”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

second worker’s response: “Did he ever beat you before? I was just wondering because I’d think that if I’d been through this before, I would have left before now.”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

third worker’s response: “It sounds like you’ve had a rough evening. Do you own your own home? No, I was just wondering if you own your own home. It says here you live in a house, and not an apartment.”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

fourth worker’s response: “I was in your shoes once. Believe me, it was a long and difficult battle to get out of that mess. But I did. I just decided that it wasn’t worth living like that—life’s too short, and I got out!”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

fifth worker’s response: “What you need is a good lawyer. You tell the staff that comes on in the morning that you want to talk to a lawyer. You can’t just sit around and take this stuff!”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

Vignette 3

A rape victim sees the volunteer in the emergency room. As the volunteer talks to her, she learns that the victim is afraid to go home. The man who raped her is an acquaintance in the neighborhood, and she is afraid that now that he knows she called the police, he will come after her.

first volunteer’s response: “It sounds like you could use a place to stay tonight. Would you like me to try to set something up for you?”

Grade: ___      Reason: ___

second volunteer’s response: “You’re really afraid of this guy! Well, you’re not going home tonight.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

third volunteer’s response: “I can see that you can’t handle this! I’ll make all the arrangements. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll get you a place to stay, and I’ll set you up with an appointment at mental health.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fourth volunteer’s response: “How would you like to handle this tonight?”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fifth volunteer’s response: “Let’s get off this gruesome topic. I mean, I know it’s important to you right now, but it’ll do you good to talk about something else. Tell me about your job.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

sixth volunteer’s response: “You must be feeling so afraid of him.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

Vignette 4

A young woman comes in because she has been using “crack more than I thought I would.” She describes having trouble staying away from crack as her roommate uses it. Recently her roommate has begun prostituting herself to get the money for drugs and many of this woman’s possessions have disappeared. She says, “I just think I am headed in a bad direction and decided this morning that I need help to get out of this.”

first worker’s response: “Can you tell a little more about what is going on with your roommate?”

Grade:___       Reason:___

second worker’s response: “How did you get mixed up with this roommate to begin with?”

Grade:___       Reason:___

third worker’s response: “I know this other woman who is in a similar situation and she is having the worst time getting away from her roommate!”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fourth worker’s response: “Okay. So what we are going to do here is get you to sign papers to go into a rehab unit. That will get you out of the house and away from the roommate. Then we are going to get your things out of that house. Do you have a place you can store everything while you are in rehab?”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fifth worker’s response: “You must feel betrayed by her. Talk to me a minute about what you would like to see happen for you right now.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

Vignette 5

A man talks to the intake worker in a case management unit about his recent separation from his wife. He comments that he could have been a better husband, that he was stingy and went for days not speaking to his wife if he was annoyed. He thought he was making her see how he felt about things, but she left him, saying he was “uncommunicative.” He seems depressed and bewildered by his wife’s departure.

first worker’s response: “Sounds to me like you could use some communication workshops.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

second worker’s response: “Did you have to go that long without speaking? I mean, I can’t think of what she could have done that made you that mad?”

Grade:___       Reason:___

third worker’s response: “You really thought you were getting through to her, so it must be hard to see her leave this way.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fourth worker’s response: “Only a fool would think what you were doing was ‘communication’! Of course she didn’t hear you, fellow!”

Grade:___       Reason:___

fifth worker’s response: “See, I think you should have tried marriage counseling before things got this bad. Not now, after she’s already gone.”

Grade:___       Reason:___

sixth worker’s response: “Well, if you had a better understanding of the way women think, you could have avoided this whole thing.”

Grade:___       Reason:___