For the next 24 hours, pay attention to instances in which you use you-language. Catch yourself saying, “You made me angry,” “You’re being pushy,” or engaging in other uses of you-language. Whenever you do so, change your language to I-language: “I feel angry when you…” or “I feel pressured when you…”

Do your thoughts and feelings about what is happening change when you substitute I-language for you-language?