$1.$ Revising:Applying Phase $3$ of the Writing Process

Time is money in any business environment. To be successful in the business world, you must be able to create concise and easy$-$to$-$read messages. As you revise, eliminate wordy expressions, long lead$-$ins, fillers, redundancies, and empty words. Your audience will appreciate your brevity.

Which of these sentences contain wordy expressions? Check all that apply.

He seldom returns text messages.

Jorge can give you access to the beta version.

In the event that Marie calls, please inform her that we will be proceeding along the normal course of events.

Feel free to help yourself to the delectable desserts in the break room until such time as they are all consumed.

Alessia will probably be promoted.

Complete the sentence with the most concise option.

shut down all computers before leaving the office today.

Read the following paragraph, and choose the best revision for one of its sentences.

Dr$.$ Blake is retiring at the end of the month. There will be an unoccupied office upon his departure, and it is big in size. Because every other office is occupied, we should convert Dr$.$ Blake$$s office into a lounge. It is absolutely essential that this issue is discussed at the next staff meeting.

When Dr$.$ Blake leaves, his large office will be available.

Upon Dr$.$ Blake$$s impending departure, his large office will be unoccupied and available.

Evaluate each of the following sentences, and choose the most concise revision.

It is the user who should contact the help center.

The user should contact the help center as to whether or not they have a problem.

It is the user who should contact the help center if there is a problem.

The user should contact the help center.

I am sending you this letter to let you know that the team is ready for its next assignment.

This is to inform you that the team is ready for its next assignment.

I am writing this letter because I need to let you know that the team is ready for its next assignment.

The team is ready for its next assignment.

At this point in time, we are not sure if we are postponing the meeting.

We are not sure if we are postponing the meeting.

As to whether or not we will meet at a later date, it is up in the air.

Identify the redundancy in the sentence.

Plans include the addition of additional office space.

Microblogs refer to messages on sites such as Twitter, Tumbler, or Plurk.

How can a writer ensure a message is as effective as possible while limiting the number of characters in the message? Check all that apply.

Remove descriptive words.

Strive for conciseness, clarity, and correctness.

Don$$t personalize your message.

Avoid drafts when possible.

Focus on main ideas or useful information.