7.2 Document for analysis: Poor Memo Describing Social Media Brown Bag Lunch Talk.

Amy Thompson, a project manager at construction firm Acton, was asked to present a brief Brown Bag Lunch Talk to fellow employees about using social networking responsibly on the job. As an avid social media user, she has prepared a program and has written the following memo describing the proposed talk to her boss, who requested the Brown Bag Talk. However, her message has many faults.

Your Task: List the weaknesses of this message. Then revise it to improve organization, tone, and readability.

Date: May 12, 2014

To: Byron Hobbes

From: Amy Thompson

Subject: Social Media

As per your request, I have been slaving over the Brown Bag Lunch talk (June 5) you requested. I appreciate the opportunity. If you can think of any points to add to items I have already thought of, please feel free to me know. What I have in mind is discussing about three major points related to using social media responsibly and hoping these points will open up a broader discussion of proper practices. In a short presentation like this, I should not talk too much.

As you know, we do have an Internet policy here at Acton. But no mention of Facebook or any of the other social media because it was written ages ago. So, my three points will focus first on the existing company policy. Which has always allowed limited [personal Internet use by employees. But, as I mentioned, does not spell out social media specifically. My advise is to stay away from social media on company computers. After all, were not being paid to check out Facebook profile, peruse News Feeds, or send tweets.

Second, I would advice everyone to use a disclaimer if you have a personal blog and mention where you work. A good one to use is The opinions expressed are mine and do not reflect those of my employer. Remember, you represent Acton no matter where you go.

My last point refers to badmouthing and negative references. You may think that your social media sites are really private and secure. Man, thats dreaming! Dont ever criticize the company, a collegue, or a customer on social media. This kind of backbiting makes you looks bad. When applying for another job, the hiring manager may see your whining online and cross you off his list.

Hope this covers my main points.