Arsenic and Old Lace - Officer Brophy Monologue

Your assignment is to write or type 2 pg. monologue as your character. It should be based on your character in the play - so include things that happen to him/her in the play butextend itinto a monologue where he/she wouldstep out of the scene, break the fourth wall sometime during the play, and speak directly to the audience as that character. (2 full pages in length!!!)

So pick a scene that the character is in, then have a point where everything would pause, the characters steps out, and then beings the monologue.

The character that I play is Officer Brophy, who is loyal and caring and a more brief/minor character. I have added the scenes that he is in so there are some references you could use for the time of the monologue, as well as a link to the movie so you can observe what kind of person he his. Also,add what scene he would be telling his monologue in, (only one!).

**Keep in mind that this is not the first time that Officer Brophy is meeting the Brewster sisters in either scenes, they are all friends, and he is well aware of Teddy thinking he is Theodore Roosevelt way before the 1st scene, and he is quite used to it.

https://archive.org/details/ArsinicAndOldLace

Act 1 Scene 2

In this scene Officer Brophy and Klein arrive at the Brewster sisters house to pick up Teddys toys for the Christmas fund, and strike up a small conversation with Harper. ***Remember, Brophy, the Brewster sisters, and Teddy all know each other already and are friends!!!***

and we give the theatre another year or two, perhaps think if on R. door. ] Well, now, who do you suppose that is? [They all [A knock rise as ABBY goes to door R. TEDDY starts for door at same time, but ABBY stops him. ] No, thank you, Teddy. I'll go. [She opens Immediately door to admit two cops, OFFICERS BROPHY and KLEIN. ] Come say in, Mr. Brophy. BROPHY. Hello, Miss Brewster. ABBY. How are you, Mr. Klein? KLEIN. Very well, Miss Brewster. The COPS cross to TEDDY who is standing near desk, and salute him. TEDDY returns salute.] TEDDY. What news have you brought me? BROPHY. Colonel, we have nothing to report. TEDDY. Splendid! Thank you, gentlemen! At ease! [Cops relax and drop D. S. ABBY has closed door, and turns to COPS.] ABBY. You know Dr. Harper. KLEIN. Sure! Hello, Dr. Harper. BROPHY. [Turns to ABBY, doffing cap.] We've come for the toys for the Christmas Fund. ABBY. Oh, yes. HARPER. [Standing below table. ] That's a splendid work you menyour gun, and the first thing you know you've shot yourself in the foot. [KLEIN drifts U. L. around to window-seat. ] ABBY. [Crossing to TEDDY. ] Teddy, go upstairs and get that big box from your Aunt Martha's room. [TEDDY crosses upstage toward pairs. ABBY speaks to BROPHY. ] How is Mrs. Brophy today? Mrs. Brophy has been quite ill, Dr. Harper. g BROPHY. [To HARPER. ] Pneumonia! HARPER. I'm sorry to hear that. TEDDY has reached first landing on stairs where he stops and draws an imaginary sword. ] Ignore! TEDDY. [Shouting. ] CHARGE! [He charges up stairs and exits Immediately off balcony. The others pay no attention to this. ] BROPHY. Oh, she's better now. A little weak still sayy ABBY. [Starting toward kitchen. ] I'm going to get you some beef broth to take to her. BROPHY. Don't bother, Miss Abby! You've done so much for her already. ABBY. [ At kitchen door. ] We made it this morning. Sister Martha is taking some to poor Mr. Benitzky right now. I won't be a min- ute. Sit down and be comfortable, all of you. [She exits into kitchen. ] [HARPER sits again. BROPHY crosses to table and addresses the other two. ] BROPHY. She shouldn't go to all that trouble. KLEIN. Listen, try to stop her or her sister from doing something nice-and for nothing! They don't even care how you vote. [He to sits on window-seat.] HARPER. When I received my call to Brooklyn and moved next door my wife wasn't well. When she died and for months before- well, if I know what pure kindness and absolute generosity are, it's because I've known the Brewster sisters. bys [At this moment TEDDY steps out on balcony and blows a bugle call. They all look. ]stand BROPHY. [Stepping U. s. promised not to do that. Remonstrating. ] Colonel, you TEDDY. But I have to call a Cabinet meeting to get the release of those supplies. [TEDDY wheels and exits.] MARTHA. [ At door. ] Wel BROPHY. [ Crosses to MA BROPHY, He used to do that in the middle of the night. The MART In. How do you do neighbors raised cain with us. They're a little afraid of him, any. KLEIN. How are you, M Christmas toys. way . HARPER. Oh, he's quite harmless. MARTHA. Oh, yes, Teddy all packed. [She turns to KLEIN. Suppose he does think he's Teddy Roosevelt. There's a BROPHY. The Colonel's lot worse people he could think he was. has to O.K. it. BROPHY. Damn shame-a nice family like this hatching a cuckoo. MARTHA. Yes, of cours KLEIN. Well, his father-the old girls' brother, was some sort of BROPHY. She's doin' fi for me to take to her. a genius, wasn't he? And their father-Teddy's grandfather- MARTHA. {Crossing be seems to me I've heard he was a little crazy too. morning. I just took so BROPHY. Yeah-he was crazy like a fox. He made a million dollars. bones. HARPER. Really? Here in Brooklyn? [ABBY enters from kit BROPHY. Yeah. Patent medicine. He was a kind of a quack of ABBY. Oh, you're back some sort. Old Sergeant Edwards remembers him. He used the MARTHA. Well, dear house here as a sort of a clinic-tried 'em out on people. was there. He's goin KLEIN. Yeah, I hear he used to make mistakes occasionally, too. ABBY. [Hopefully. ] BROPHY. The department never bothered him much because he MARTHA. [ Disappoi was pretty useful on autopsies sometimes. Especially poison cases. against the rules of KLEIN. Well, whatever he did he left his daughters fixed for life. puts pail down. The Thank God for that [TEDDY enters on BROPHY. Not that they ever spend any of it on themselves. downstairs to desk, HARPER. Yes, I'm well acquainted with their charities. HARPER speaks thro KLEIN. You don't know a tenth of it. When I was with the Miss- ing Persons Bureau I was trying to trace an old man that we never HARPER. You coul did find [Rises. ]-do you know there's a renting agency that's yourselves somethi got this house down on its list for furnished rooms? They don't ABBY. [To BROPH good and hot. rent rooms-but you can bet that anybody who comes here lookin' for a room goes away with a good meal and probably a few dol- BROPHY. Yes, ma' KLEIN. This is fin lars in their kick. soldier. ] That O' BROPHY. It's just their way of digging up people to do some good TEDDY. That's G to. ship. ] What's thi R. door opens and MARTHA BREWSTER enters. MARTHA is also a MARTHA. [ Crosse sweet elderly woman with Victorian charm. She is dressed in the TEDDY. But the C old-fashioned manner of ABBY, but with a bigb lace collar that ABBY. Now, Tedel, you 5 lease of MARTHA. [ At door. ] Well, now, isn't this nice? [Closes door. ] BROPHY. [Crosses to MARTHA. ] Good afternoon, Miss Brewster. ht. The MART In. How do you do, Mr. Brophy? Dr. Harper. Mr. Klein. im, any- KLEIN. How are you, Miss Brewster? We dropped in to get the Christmas toys. MARTHA. Oh, yes, Teddy's Army and Navy. They wear out. They're all packed. [She turns to stairs. BROPHY stops her. ] here's a BROPHY. The Colonel's upstairs after them-it seems the Cabinet joke has to O.K. it. MARTHA. Yes, of course. I hope Mrs. Brophy's better? g cuckoo. BROPHY. She's doin' fine, ma'am. Your sister's getting some soup e sort of for me to take to her. father- MARTHA. [Crossing below BROPHY to C. ] Oh, yes, we made it this morning. I just took some to a poor man who broke ever so many b dollars. bones. [ABBY enters from kitchen carrying a covered pail. ] quack of ABBY. Oh, you're back, Martha. How was Mr. Benitzky? used the MARTHA. Well, dear, it's pretty serious, I'm afraid. The doctor was there. He's going to amputate in the morning. /, too. ABBY. [Hopefully. ] Can we be present? - look@ klein cause he MARTHA. [Disappointment. ] No. I asked him but he says it's son cases. against the rules of the hospital. [MARTHA crosses to sidebr- for life. puts pail down. Then puts cape and hat on small table U. L. } [TEDDY enters on balcony with large cardboard box and comes S. downstairs to desk, putting box on stool. KLEIN crosses to toy box HARPER speaks through this ] the Miss- HARPER. You couldn't be of any service-and you must spare we never yourselves something ncy that's ABBY. [To BROPHY. ] Here's the broth, Mr. Brophy. Be sure it's hey don't good and hot. re lookin BROPHY. Yes, ma'am. [ Drops U. s. ] few dol- KLEIN. This is fine-it'll make a lot of kids happy. [Lifts out toy soldier. ] That O'Malley boy is nuts about soldiers. ome good TEDDY. That's General Miles. I've retired him. [KLEIN removes ship. ] What's this! The Oregon! MARTHA. [Crosses to U. L. ] Teddy, dear, put it back. A is also a TEDDY. But the Oregon goes to Australia. red in the ABBY. Now, TeddyO'HARA. I pulls my guns-braces myself against the wall-and I says-"Come in." OFFICERS BROPHY and KLEIN walk in R., see O'HARA with gun pointed at them and raise their hands. Then, recognizing their fellow officer. lower them. ] Hello, boys. BROPHY. What the hell is going on here? 79O'HARA. I've been right here, sir. Writing a play with Mortimer Brewster. ROONEY. [Tough. ] Yeah? Well, you're gonna have plenty of time to write that play. You're suspended! Now get back and report in! [O'HARA takes his coat, night stick, and cap from top of desk. Goes 10 R. door and opens it. Then turns to ROONEY.] O'HARA. Can I come over some time and use the station typewriter? ROONEY. No!-Get out of here. [O'HARA runs out. ROONEY closes door and turns to the COPS. TEDDY enters on balcony and comes downstairs unnoticed and stands at ROONEY'S back to the R. of him. ROONEY, to COPS. ] Take that guy somewhere else and bring him to. [The COPS bend down to pick up JONATHAN. ] See what you can find out about his accomplice. [The cops stand up again in a questioning attitude. ROONEY explains.] The guy that helped him escape. He's wanted too. No wonder Brooklyn's in the shape it's in, with the police force full of flatheads like you-falling for that kind of a story-thirteen bodies in the cellar! TEDDY. But there are thirteen bodies in the cellar. ROONEY. {Turning on him. ] Who are you? TEDDY. I'm President Roosevelt. [ROONEY does a walk U. S. on this, then comes down again.] ROONEY. What the hell is this? BROPHY. He's the fellow that blows the bugle. KLEIN. Good morning, Colonel. [They salute TEDDY, who returns it. ROONEY finds himself saluting TEDDY also. He pulls his hand down in disgust. ] ROONEY. Well, Colonel, you've blown your last bugle. TEDDY. {Seeing JONATHAN on floor. ] Dear me-another Yellow Fever victim? ROONEY. What? TEDDY. All the bodies in the cellar are Yellow Fever victims. [ROONEY crosses exasperatedly to R. door on this.] BROPHY, No, Colonel, this is a spy we caught in the White House. ROONEY. [Pointing to JONATHAN. ] Will you get that guy out of here! [cops pick up JONATHAN and drag him to kitchen. TEDDY follows them. MORTIMER enters, comes down stairs.]KLEIN. Well what do you know about that? [There is a knock on door R. ] O'HARA. Come in. LIEUTENANT ROONEY bursts in R., slamming door after bim. He is a very tough, driving, dominating officer.] ROONEY. What the hell are you men doing here? I told you I was going to handle this. KLEIN. Well, sir, we was just about to - [KLEIN'S eyes go to JONATHAN and ROONEY sees him. ] ROONEY. What happened? Did he put up a fight? BROPHY. This ain't the guy that blows the bugle. This is his brother. He tried to kill Klein. KLEIN. [ Feeling his throat. ] All I said was he looked like Boris Karloff. ROONEY. [ His face lights up. ] Turn him over. [The two COPs turn JONATHAN over on his back. KLEIN steps back. ROONEY crosses front of BROPHY to take a look at JONA- THAN. BROPHY drifts to R. of ROONEY. O'HARA is still at foot of stairs. ] BROPHY. We kinda think he's wanted somewhere. ROONEY. Oh, you kinda think he's wanted somewhere? If you guys don't look at the circulars we hang up in the station, at least you could read True Detective. [Big. ] Certainly he's wanted. In In- diana! Escaped from the prison for the Criminal Insane! He's a lifer. For God's sake that's how he was described-he looked like Karloff! KLEIN. Was there a reward mentioned? ROONEY. Yeah-and I'm claiming it. BROPHY He was trying to get us down in the cellar. KLEIN. He said there was thirteen bodies buried down there. ROONEY. [Suspicious.] Thirteen bodies buried in the cellar? [De- ciding it's ridiculous. ] And that didn't tip you off he came out of a nut-house! O'HARA. I thought all along he talked kinda crazy. [ ROONEY sees O'HARA for the first time. Turns to him.] ROONEY. Oh, it's Shakespeare! [ Crossing to him. ] Where have you been all night? And you needn't bother to tell me.Joe. [Into phone. ] Mac? Tell the Lieutenant he can call off the big manhunt-we got him. In the Brewster house. [JONATHAN bears this and suddenly becomes very much awake, looking up to we KLEIN to L. of him and BROPHY to his R. ] Do you want us to ing him in? Oh-all right, we'll hold him right here. [He hangs .] The Lieutenant's on his way over. JONATHAN. [Rising. ] So I've been turned in, eh? [BROPHY and KLEIN look at him with some interest. ] All right, you've got me! [Turning to MORTIMER, who is on balcony looking down. ] And I suppose you and that stool-pigeon brother of mine will split the reward? KLEIN. Reward? Instinctively KLEIN and BROPHY both grab JONATHAN by an arm.] JONATHAN. [ Dragging COPS D. S. C.] Now I'll do some turning in! You think my aunts are sweet charming old ladies, don't you? Well, there are thirteen bodies buried in their cellar. MORTIMER. { As he rushes off to see TEDDY. ] Teddy! Teddy! Teddy! KLEIN. What the hell are you talking about? BROPHY. You'd better be careful what you're saying about your aunts they happen to be friends of ours. JONATHAN. [ Raving as be bags them toward cellar door. ] I'll show you! I'll prove it to you! You come to the cellar with me! KLEIN. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! JONATHAN. Thirteen bodies! I'll show you where they're buried. KLEIN. {Refusing to be kidded. ] Oh, yeah? JONATHAN. You don't want to see what's down in the cellar? BROPHY. { Releases JONATHAN'S arm, then to KLEIN. ] Go on down in the cellar with him, Abe. KLEIN. [ Drops JONATHAN'S . m, backs D. S. a step and looks at him, ] I'm not so sure I want to be down in the cellar with him. Look at that puss. He looks like Boris Karloff. [JONATHAN, a mention of Karloff, grabs KLEIN by the throat, starts choking him. ] Hey-what the hell - Hey, Pat! Get him off me. [BROPHY takes out rubber blackjack. ] BROPHY. Here, what do you think you're doing! [ He socks JONA- THAN on bead. JONATHAN falls unconscious, face down.] IKLEIN, throwing JONATHAN's weight to floor, backs away, rub.O'HARA. [Goes to BROPHY. ] Hey, Pat, whaddya know? This is Mortimer Brewster! He's going to write my play with me. I'm just tellin' him the story. KLEIN. {Crossing to MORTIMER and untying him. ] Did you have to tie him up to make him listen? BROPHY. Joe, you better report in at the station. The whole force is out looking for ya. O'HARA. Did they send you here for me? KLEIN. We didn't know you was here. BROPHY. We came to warn the old ladies that there's hell to pay. The Colonel blew that bugle again in the middle of the night. KLEIN. From the way the neighbors have been calling in about it you'd think the Germans had dropped a bomb on Flatbush Avenue [ He has finished untying MORTIMER. Puts cords on sideboard. ] BROPHY. The Lieutenant's on the warpath. He says the Colonel's got to be put away some place. MORTIMER. {Staggers to feet. ] Yes! Yes! O'HARA. [Going to MORTIMER. ] Gee, Mr. Brewster, I got to get away, so I'll just run through the third act quick. MORTIMER. [Staggering R. ] Get away from me. [BROPHY gives KLEIN a look, goes to phone and dials.] KLEIN. Say, do you know what time it is? It's after eight o'clock in the morning. O'HARA. It is? [He follows MORTIMER to stairs.] Gee, Mr. Brewster, them first two acts run a little long, but I don't see any- thing we can leave out. MORTIMER. [ Almost to landing. ] You can leave it all out. [BROPHY sees JONATHAN on sofa.] BROPHY. Who the hell is this guy? MORTIMER. [Hanging on railing, almost to balcony. ] That's my brother. BROPHY. Oh, the one that ran away? So he came back. MORTIMER. Yes, he came back! [JONATHAN stirs as if to get up.] BROPHY. [Into phone. ] This is Brophy. Get me Mac. [To O'HARA, sitting on bottom stair. ] I'd better let them know we found you