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Effective business writers use various techniques to improve their messages. How could the following selection be improved? The last time the board met, members discussed

Effective business writers use various techniques to improve their messages. How could the following selection be improved? The last time the board met, members discussed sending Fui to Tokyo for training on HumanPoint software, but she isn't working with HumanPoint any longer because we decided to use Point I software rather than HumanPoint, and she will no longer need to attend this training. The problem in this ineffective selection is: Passive voice. A dangling/misplaced modifier. Sentence length/comprehension rate

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