EMAIL 1 To: All employees From: Administrative Services Date: December 20, 2013 Subject: Important notification After making corrections to our software system, we are now ready to install new card readers for identification to enter the home office and also to open doors in the building and the garage. The new card readers will use a new type of access card, called a proximity card, in place of the current card that you swipe to activate a door lock. With the new card, you will simply hold the card up to the reader to active the door lock. All individuals with access to the home office and garage should already have been issued a new card. After Friday, August 24th, your old card will no longer work in any of the card readers. Administrative Services arranged to have each department distribute the new cards to their employees. If you have not yet received your new card, please find the person responsible for distributing the cards in your area. Your new card will become active on Monday, August 27th th. After that date, you will see a container in the main lobby by the guard's station where you will need to drop in your old card. For security purposes, it is required that we collect all the old cards, so please deposit them in this container as soon as possible after you begin using your new card. We appreciate your cooperation and patience in completing this process. If you have any questions regarding these instructions, please contact either Frank Lindeman at 6804 or Eric Dillman at 2030. Thank you for your help. Exercise: 1. Is this written in the direct order or the indirect order? 2. Do you agree or disagree with the writing order? 3. Rewrite the message to improve it. Consider the average employee of average intelligence and average education. Find ways to improve the document to make it easier to read and to understand. This could involve shortening the document or changing its structure with headings or subheadings or numbered lists or bulleted lists or anything that you think would improve it. EMAIL 2 From: Jennifer Gerholt Sent: Thursday, August 27, 2009 11:10 AM To: COMMUNICATIONS Subject: Homeless Drunk! One of your insurance agents who that represent your company, at 1900 E Joel Roadm, allows a homeless man to drink booze on his front steps and he sometimes sleeps on his steps and urinates and craps behind his building in plain site to my children and myself. Do you support this behavior??!!?!?! I have called him several times with no return calls. My next step is a gathering friends to make signs with your company's name saying that you support and encourage this type of urinating and crapping behavior and we will march around the building.. Jennifer Gerholt Accounts Payable group 9100 Merrin Blvd., Baltimore, MD 21222 Direct Line: 442-547-1201 Fax: 446-285-1312 jgerholt@norrisgroup.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------From: Markley, Christopher [mailto:CMarkley@pnat.com] Sent: Thursday, August 27, 2009 3:15 PM To: Jennifer Gerholt Subject: Dear Ms. Gerholt: I am sorry to hear about your displeasure, and also sorry to say that there is nothing that I can do to assist you. The insurance agencies that sell our insurance policies are independent businesses, not employed by us or controlled by us in any way. The agency that you mentioned owns its own property and is responsible for controlling what happens on its property. We wholesale our insurance products through our retail insurance agencies, and their independent status prevents us from instructing them on how to manage their business operations and business facilities. We are also not in a position to control the behavior of a private resident of your town who is acting in an offensive way outside of the agency's office. Since the behaviors you describe are illegal in most jurisdictions, and since they are occurring in public, outside of the office building, I believe that the appropriate way to address the problem is to ask the local police to intervene. Christopher D. Markley vice president--Corporate Communications Penn National Insurance cmarkley@pnat.com 717-255-6895 phone 800-388-4764 ext. 6895 toll-free phone 717-255-6319 fax Two North Second Street PO Box 2361 Harrisburg, PA 17105 www.pennnationalinsurance.com ---------------------------------------------------------------From: Jennifer Gerholt Sent: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 7:53 AM To: Markley, Christopher Subject: RE: The police can't do anything because the owner of the agency that represents you won't return my calls and put up no trespassing signs or file a letter to keep him away. If the owner would cooperate it would help to get rid of this vagrant. You could at least put in a suggestion to the owner to help get rid of this issue so it could increase your business. The owner isn't helping the neighborhood or the police to get rid of this mess. You don't think a group of people marching outside this agency with signs that your company approves of all the pee and crap would hurt your business?!?!?! Do you approve of somebody peeing and crapping in front of my children? My little children are horrified and traumatized after seeing this man pee and crap outside. We have to stop all this pee and crap, and I demand an answer. Jennifer Gerholt Accounts Payable group 9100 Merrin Blvd., Baltimore, MD 21222 Direct Line: 442-547-1201 Fax: 446-285-1312 jgerholt@norrisgroup.com --------------------------------------------1. Did Ms. Gerholt write her first email using the direct order or the indirect order? 2. Do you agree or disagree with her choice of order? 3. Critique Markley's response email. Give it a letter grade, and discuss whether you would have taken a different approach. 4. Write a final response to Ms. Gerholt. EMAIL 3 Dear valued customer, Recently, we encountered a processing error that may have impacted your premium on your policy renewal. This problem was corrected, and we have issued you a new policy, which reflects the corrected premium and refund. If you received a policy renewal dated August 31 through September 2, please disregard that policy and use this one instead. Should you have any questions, please contact your agent. --------------------------------------------------------------------Assignment 1. Is this written in the direct or indirect order? 2. Do you agree or disagree with the choice of order? Why? 3. What is the writer's objective? Did the writer meet that objective? 4. How might the reader react to this? Can you guess if the writer was trying to anticipate reader reaction? Does the writer care what the reader thinks or does? 5. Rewrite the document to improve it