Figure 2. Adolescent Intimacy Sex and Love Matrix Play At Really Want Boys Love Sex Girls Sex Love What She Perceives What He Perceives Love is also a function of our choices and the decisions we make while measuring the "rewards- costs" formula in our lives. Regardless of the love type you experience, you will find some types of the relationship to be rewarding while others appear to be expensive. Understanding how needs and love interact is essential to the study of love. In any relationship we keep a mental balance sheet where the rewards and costs are measured in an overall evaluation of the worth of that relationship to us. Being in love means that each partner receives safe nurturing acceptance of their sense of self, even if the relationship hits a few bumps in the road. When the boy/man puts too much pressure on the female to start having sex, one has to question motives and quality of the love in the relationships (SOURCE). In the overall evaluation of the relationship, the loss of that safe and nurturing relationship where the self is threatened signals a very high cost to the individual who must weigh that cost against the rewards and potential outcomes. Again, when people fall out of love they are essentially falling out of the Zone of Vulnerability and the safety for self that was once enjoyed there by both partners. This is why many short-term relationships end abruptly and why many long-term ones continue on even when things look and feel really bad between lovers. Figure 3 shows the characteristics of short and long-term relationships. Short-term look and feel really bad between lovers. Figure 3 shows the characteristics of short and long-term relationships. Short-term relationships tend to have a relatively brief period of time between acquaintance and the onset of sexual relations. Many short- term relationships have fantasy elements in that one or both partners views the nature of the relationship in unrealistic terms and inflates its good qualities to better match the fantasy. Short-term relationships tend to have more drama, conflict, and infidelity or absence of loyalty, especially when apart. Short-term relationships have not developed to the degree that exclusiveness is expected or offered. The intensity of the relationship comes with obsession over how the couple appears to others and often a compulsion to keep up appearances even though you know the relationship is not going to lead to anything over time. There is also an overemphasis on physical and sexual expressions which often sooth anxious hearts rather than work out problems that need to be addressed. It could be argued that newly formed relationships suffer from sexual "medication" where relational problem solving would be better suited. Finally, there is a deep need for the other partner to measure up to something he or she is not. Long-term relationships may have begun with some of the exact same traits that short-term ones have. But, somewhere along the way both are able to transition out of the newness and superficialities of the relationship into the long-term maintenance of the rapport. Friendships are proven over time, trial, and everyday mundane exposure to one another. Sexual relationship was an adjunct to the overall relationship, not the focus and occupation of it. Intimacy has deepened because it has been tested and sustained by loyalty, devotion, and exclusive fidelity to one another. Forgiveness is possible and often provided because each knows that both are human and prone to make mistakes-how might one partner demand perfection of the other when he or she cannot offer perfection in return? In both the early and continuing eras of the relationship each excludes potential rivals and chooses to remain faithful to the other. Both need each other on a daily basis (interdependence) and both provide the other their space, time alone, and individuality (mutual independence). There is also an element of altruism and nurturance of the other (even when it's not reciprocated all the time). Couples can also procure help in medical, emotional, relational, and familial areas of need. Since sexual intercourse is common and part of everyday life it requires negotiation and mutual agreement in the relationship.