Given the description of the formality problems, what is the problem with this sentence?

The main benefit of this training solution is that it will professionalize the volunteers. When you get to organizational charity events, you will be immediately recognized as a spokesperson for the company, and you will be able to respond to donors' questions. Because jof this important benefit, the board should consider this proposal.

Business Speak: It is too formal.

Too many contractions are used.

It slips into the "general you"

It uses too many cliches and informal words.