I need help responding to these discussion board post by:

Kristina Delahanty Mina

Discussion 2

According to the review of romantic theory attachment, originally formulated by C. Hazan and P. R. Shaver in 1987, "Romantic love, as commonly conceived, involves the interplay of attachment, caregiving, and sex" (Fraley & Shaver, 2000). We often see these 3 components present when talking about romantic love, although we might call them attachment, caregiving, and sex; intimacy, passion, and commitment; or, according to Helen Fischer, "lust, attraction, and attachment" (Fisher, 2006). Fisher explains that the feeling of being in love can be explained with biology since our brain releases certain hormones that influence the way we feel.

Lust is the first stage of romantic love, according to Fisher, and is an "intense sexual desire" towards an individual (Fisher, 2006). It is driven by testosterone and estrogen. With an orgasm we feel a rush of oxytocin and vasopressin which are associated with attachment. Lust leads to attraction during which dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin are released. Dopamine is a natural stimulant that gives us a feeling of happiness and ecstasy. During this phase we feel infatuation that is common during the initial stages of falling in love, due to our seratonin level being depleted. The final stage of love is attachment, which is a deep and meaningful relationship between individuals. Oxytocin and vasopressin are two main hormones associated with this stage. Oxytocin is stimulated through "skin-to-skin contact" and plays an important role in forging a bond whereas vasopressin is released immediately after sex triggering the feeling of wanting to stay with that person.

I believe that emotional bond that develops between adult romantic partners is partly a function of the attachment behavioral system. The reason for this is that I can absolutely relate to Ainsworth's third pattern of attachment - avoidant. Avoidant attachment types are extremely independent, self-directed, and often uncomfortable with intimacy. They're commitment-phobes and experts at rationalizing their way out of any intimate situation. They regularly complain about feeling "crowded" or "suffocated" when people try to get close to them (Manson, 2023). I was physically and mentally abused as a child and because of that tried to avoid contact with my parents. I was never distressed being on my own as a child and preferred it that way. Over 20 years have passed since then and I still try to spend as little time with my parents as I can. Of course, I can clearly see how much of my behavior was influenced by my childhood. I can see the same pattern in my own relationships. I don't like to get attached or overly emotional and I never rely on anyone except for myself. People can let us down and I don't want to be disappointed. In fact, in every single relationship that I have been in, I have been the stronger, more capable one. And so, looking at a big picture, it makes sense for love to be an adaptive behavior that maximizes our evolutionary fitness, but I don't think it's 100% necessary. I have always been able to be in a romantic relationship but not have the feeling of attachment.

References

Fraley, R. C., & Shaver, P. R. (2000, June 1). Adult Romantic Attachment: Theoretical Developments, Emerging Controversies, and Unanswered Questions. Sage Journals. Retrieved February 7, 2024, from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.132

Fisher, H. (2006). Why we love, why we cheat. Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat | TED Talk. Retrieved February 6, 2024, from https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_why_we_love_why_we_cheat

Cheyenne Short

DB 2- Cheyenne Short

Helen Fisher's TedTalk Why we love, why we cheat, discusses romantic love and the forces that drive it. Fisher describes sex drive, romantic love, and attachment as the three brain systems involved with mating (Fisher, n.d.). Romantic love is described as the early stages of love and attachment as the long term, secure love. Fisher's description of attachment is a universal trait in love. While individuals may differ on their sexual preferences, when a person falls in love with another they develop an attachment to them. Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions written by David M Buss and David Schmitt show that mate preferences do differ based on temporal context and individual differences such as sex (Fraley & Shaver, 2000). Buss and Schmitt also detail a series of traits that are considered when men and women search for a mate. Men and women look for different things in a partner initially when pursuing sex and differences continue within the same sex as well and this relates to the sex drive that Fisher describes. Fisher also mentions that this type of attraction is not as powerful as romantic love and attachment. The feeling of attachment toward a partner and sense of security and obsession as Fisher describes, is a feeling every individual in love experiences.

For this reason, love is an adaptive behavior that maximizes survival because individuals search for a partner that they can become attached to and feel a sense of security and safety. This search for a partner may cause individuals to become more conscious of their wellbeing in order to be considered desirable to potential mates. One part of the TedTalk stood out to me in reference to this idea. Fisher mentions asking the participants of her study if they would die for their partner, and they respond yes with no hesitation. The idea that people in love are willing to die for their partner implies that individuals also live for their partners. Therefore in my opinion, the behavior of love does maximize evolutionary fitness and I do find validity in the idea of partnership and the property of attachment.

Resources: Fisher, H. (n.d.). Why we love, why we cheat. TED Talks. https://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat

Fraley, R. C., & Shaver, P. R. (2000). Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions. Review of General Psychology, 4(2), 132-154. https://doi.org/10.1037//1089-2680.4.2.132

Luisana Feliz

Family Strategies

There are universally agreed-upon aspects of love. Universally, love is often compared to the relationship a mother shares with their child. The universal meaning of love would be a loyal, enduring, nurturing, and unconditional feeling of concern or admiration one may have for the other. Love is seen when people can share their lives without conflict in a way that helps both parties to become better versions of themselves. Also, life can be described as a sacrifice. When one loves the other, they are most likely to let go of some of their comforts or want to ensure the needs of the other are met. There is a commonality with the ideas of love, even though people feel it differently. It is the same way the love mothers share with their children, but it is not the same. One may show it strictly, while the other may express it in a soft and nurturing way. Different cultures and people have different ways of showing and experiencing love, but it all boils down to the unconditional support and loyalty one has for the other.

Love is an adaptive behavior that maximizes our evolutionary survival. Human beings thrive on the connection they have with each other and the environment around them. This explains the love for nature, animals, and other human beings. This love is part of an adaptive behavior that maximizes the ability of human beings to foster positive continuous social interactions. Love motivates individuals to behave in ways that improve their survival, including forming connections and taking care of their environment. Also is seen in the case of parents' love for their children. This has been an evolutionary adaptation that has ensured continuity. Mothers can form nurturing bonds with their children naturally, which helps them guide their development and successful integration into society (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). Also in the case of romantic relationships, people are likely to be drawn to people who help them meet their needs toward becoming better versions of themselves.

References

Buss,D.M., & Schmitt,D.P. (1993, May).Sexual Strategies Theory: An Evolutionary Perspective on Human Mating. ResearchGate | Find and share research.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/14715297_Sexual_Strategies_Theory_An_Evolutionary_Perspective_on_Human_Mating