Improve a Message

TheCommunication-By-Objectives Approach(CBO) is a framework for creating effective messages. This approach directs you to use a whole-into-parts procedure to construct your communications. Conduct some research online to learn more about this approach and how you might apply it to your own writing.

Read the following emailto be sent by a sales manager to the members of his sales team,and then answer the questions that follow.

Okay, everybody. I know it has been a tough time lately since the company numbers have not improved. All your sales numbers are lower than last year, plus the executive team has mandated that we increase the sales targets this quarter to make up for the poor numbers you brought in last quarter. It has been hard for everyone, especially the managers, because we are the ones who have to explain why your sales numbers are so low.

I have heard the conversations behind my back about how I am working you too hard, and how unfair it is that your sales targets keep changing. Well, guess what? Too bad! All the whining needs to stop, and you have to get out there and do the jobs. I know all of you have been in sales a long time, so I am sure if you just try a little bit harder, the numbers will improve.

If you need additional help in the field, let me know. I am busy with my own duties, but if you cannot handle it by yourself, I guess I can try to help you.

In a post to the discussion board, answer these questions:

• What is your initial impression of the email? Is this an effective message? Explain your response.
• How would you feel if you received this email as a sales person on the team?
• What would your impression be of the manager after you received this email as currently written?
• Using the CBO approach, what are three specific changes you would make to the email message to make it more effective? Consider the tone, audience, and purpose of the email.