Joan worked at Logan Savings and Loan for three years. A week ago, she was promoted to the position of loan officer. When someone comes into the office and wants a loan, she asks the customer to fill out the proper papers. She verifies the information given by the applicant and enters data into a computer that analyzes the customers financial situation. Using this information, Joan makes a recommendation about whether to make or reject the loan. When the loan is approved or rejected, Joan writes a letter to the customer informing her or him of the decision. Because Joan is busy, her letters are usually short.

Last week, Mr. Park, one of the companys customers, came in and filled out an application for a loan. Today, Joan must write to tell him the company cannot loan him the money he requested. The body of the letter she wrote is shown below:

Dear Mr. Park

Thank you for using Logan Savings and Loan when applying for your loan. I wish we could grant you your loan, but we cannot. When your credit score improves, please contact us again.

• What sort of message is Joan trying to convey? Positive news? Neutral news? Negative news?
• Based on your answer to the first bullet point, is Joans message written in the correct format and order? Justify your answer.
• What should Joan do to fix this message?