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HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW - OCTOBER 2015: Is a Promotion Worth Hiding Who You Are? "I have some news," David Lee told his team member Mark Brown. David was the president of the U.S. division of the Korean conglomerate Hanguk Industries, where Mark, a vice president of technology, reported to him. "Good news?" Mark asked. "That depends, I guess," David said, looking a little tentative. "They want you for the Seoul job. You'll be getting the official c-mail from HR soon." Hanguk was a large, fast-growing company with diversified interests spanning electronics, biotechnology, shipping. construction, and chemicals. Its most successful division, mobile telephony, was looking for a new head of software development at headquarters in Seoul. The division had just won a big contract with a major mobile operator in Qatar and needed to customize a smartphone system for the client's Middle East-wide network in the next six months. Hanguk's leadership would be watching the project closely, because expansion to the Arab world was one of its top strategic objectives. This was a dream job for Mark, and now, it seemed, he had it if he wanted it, "That's great news!" Mark said. "Isn't it?" He was puzzled by the pensive look on David's face. Of course it was natural for a boss to have mixed feelings about seeing a valued employee move on, but David was more than Mark's manager: He was his mentor. He'd always pushed Mark to advance in his career, and this was an internal promotion, on a three-year contract, so they'd still be working for the same company. Mark might even return to San Francisco after his stint at HQ 1 know this creates a problem for you," Mark said, "but there are a few people around here who could take my place." "11 were certain you were, I'd support you 100% But I'm not sure Korea is the best place for you -- professionally or personally. Besides, your role will involve spending a lot of time in the Middle East." Finally it dawned on Mark. "You mean because I'm gay," he said flatly. When Hanguk recruiters had come to Mark's business school campus several years earlier, they'd assured him that the company was run very much like an American one: Everyone spoke English, foreigners were welcome, pay and promotions were merit-based, and employees were happy. The chairman, Jae Kyung Park, was often quoted as saying that he wanted Hanguk to be a symbol of progress in Korea, with best practices that matched those of its global competitors. Mark had certainly found all that to be true in the San Francisco office, which David min with great independence Of course, he knew that the reality at headquarters was different. He'd seen it firsthand on the few trips he'd made there. In fact, David, a Korean-American who'd spent much of his youth in Seoul, put a lot of time into coaching his team on how to navigate the ins and out of the chaebol's culture and hierarchy. But Mark had never expected his sexual orientation to present a stumbling block in his career at the company. *We've come a long way." David said, "So has Korea as a country. But it's not California. I really believe that Hanguk is committed to diversity and is Girmly anti-discrimination. But I also know that when Americans go to HQ they're expected to fit in and play by the rules. He paused. "And then there's life outside the office. Thave gay Kotcan-American friends here who won't even go back to visit their relatives." He hesitated before adding, "I worry that you won't feel comfortable being yourself Are you saying that to do well in this job, ll have to pretend I'm straight?" Mark asked, as a flood of memories an through his mind. Having grown up in suburban Columbus, Ohio, he knew well what a life of "pretending" meant "No, I'm not saying that, David replied. But you should know that Korean society is conservative - especially if your standard is San Francisco." We All Hide Parts of Ourselves "Don't gol Kale Seward creamed over her noodle. "You can't" Calm down, Kate." Mark said, smiling at his friend's dramation. They were out to dinner with another college friend, Jack Sheehan Thick as thieves since freshman year, they'd all moved to San Francisco after graduation, and for more than a decade Pho Phy Quoc, in the Inner Sunset, had been their go-to meeting spot for catching up on one another's lives. Jack, back me up." Kate said. "I don't know why either of you is freaking out," Jack said between slurps of soup. "You should They don't need to know you're say." "Wait. Kate said, holding up her hands in shock. "You've been out since you were 15 years old, Jack. And now you're pushing Mark, in his thirties, back into the closet?" s not like we wear I'm guys around our necks." Jack replied. "I don't introduce myself to coworkers with 'Hi, I'm Jack. I like men. We wil hide parts of ourselves al work You've even told you don't mention your kids in meetings because you don't want to get slotted into the mommy "Jack, back me up." Kale said. "I don't know why either of you is freaking out," Jack said between slurps of soup. "You should go. They don't need to know you're gay." "Wait," Kate said, holding up her hands in shock. "You've been out since you were 15 years old, Jack. And now you're pushing Mark, in his thirties, back into the closet?" "It's not like we wear I'm gay signs around our necks." Jack replied. "I don't introduce myself to coworkers with "Hi, I'm Jack. I like men.' We all hide parts of ourselves at work You've even told us you don't mention your kids in meetings because you don't want to get slotted into the mommy track "But my colleagues still know I am a mom," kate said. She turned to Mark "How can you even consider taking a job that requires you to hide the fact that you're gay? It would be like going back to high school in Ohio! If you can't act in Seoul the same way you can in San Francisco, then you shouldn't go." "No one has said that I definitely need to hide who I am," Mark replied. "But it's not reasonable to think that expectations in Korea, or the Middle East, would be the same as in San Francisco. And I'm not a vulnerable high school kid anymore. Besides, they really want me. The chairman sent me a personal e-mail last night encouraging me to accept Getting an individual note from Mr. Park was a big deal. He continued. "The guy who would be my new boss, Sung-ho Moon, is flying out to meet with me on Monday. And this is a serious promotion. A huge step up in my career. More responsibility, more money, more industry exposure. I'll have 25 developers reporting to me "That's not all that matters in life, Kate said. "Of course it's not, but work is really important to me." Mark replied. Td be more worried about your love life." Jack leased. He had just married his boyfriend of eight years, and Kate and her husband had been together for 12. Mark, by contrast, was still very much single. "Its not like I'd miss the nightlife in the Castro, Mark Joked. "I be super busy with work. And on the off chance! did want to go out, Seoul has some gay friendly neighborhoods One's called "Homo Hill' which my mom found on the internet yesterday." Everyone lughed. Neither of Mark's parents had taken it well when their only child had written home from college to announce that he was gay, but his mother in particular had made a miraculous turnaround. She'd joined the Columbus PFLAG group and eventually became a mentor for other parents whose kids had just come out She visited Mark every few months, so Kate and Jack knew her well "Oh Carol. kale said fondly. "What does she think? "She said that she knows make a thoughtful decision - which you always do, Kate interjected. "But shockingly, the says that should do. True to her style. She's been scouring the internet since I told her the DEW. She went me some polling data sucresting that Korean society is improving when it comes to weepting gays Apparently there is a low poll showing where major countries stand on pays Korea wasn't great something like 40% say society should wept us -- but it wasn't abysmal either. As in most place, it seems to be a generational thing Young Korean see no problem with homosexuality, it's the older generations that still struggle with the concept She even forwanted clips of an openly say TV personality This helps that the contract is for only three years," Mack added. So sccording to her. I can do my time, come back to the US office, find the man of my dreams, and most important, give her some grandchildren." *Soundo perfect." Jack said. Marked, but he knew that scenario was a long shot on all fronts. He was he even wanted to get idor ve kids. He was happy to focus on his career. Assuming that all went as forecast, the mobile telephony group would they with exciting challenging work for at least the next five to seven years. And the intended chine further age. So was the place to be Did lacus Mark Mood formally book Sunghe Moon's land, bowing slightly, as humed to do with all be sliga The way eating time for an Industries. Sy be said. "Charm Park asked me to tell you how much he want you to take this position. We know from David and then that you have the right skille speed choy to manage the very important group You see the kind of leader And een on the preffo all our Weise when anship is the way we will cobaly Matemained while sung besen Henew he was expected to "You'll be problem, were Milewww Sunghwand Maybe the web Hedbi Mark Mark of chocol Co we making ther w Whic Veber "Oh. Carol, Kate said fondly. "What does she think?" "She said that she knows I'll make a thoughtful decision -- -- which you always do," Kate interjected. "But shockingly, she says that I should do it. True to her style, she's been scouring the internet since I told her the news. She sent me some polling data suggesting that Korean society is improving when it comes to accepting gays Apparently there is a Pew poll showing where major countries stand on gay issues. Korea wasn't great -- something like 40% say society should accept us -- but it wasn't abysmal either. As in most places, it seems to be a generational thing. Young Koreans see no problem with homosexuality; it's the older generations that still struggle with the concept. She even forwarded clips of an openly gay TV personality." "It also helps that the contract is for only three years," Mark added. "So according to her, I can do my time, come back to the US office, find the man of my dreams, and, most important, give her some grandchildren." "Sounds perfect," Jack said. Mark nodded, but he knew that scenario was a long shot -- on all fronts. He wasn't sure he even wanted to get married or have kids. He was happy to focus on his career. Assuming that all went as forecast, the mobile telephony group would be busy with exciting challenging work for at least the next five to seven years. And if he intended to climb even further at Hanguk, Seoul was the place to be. Diversity and Inclusion Mark stood and formally shook Sung-ho Moon's hand, bowing slightly, as he'd learned to do with all his Korean colleagues "This is a very exciting time for Hanguk Industries, Sung-ho said. "Chairman Park asked me to tell you how much he wants you to take this position. We know from David and others that you have the right skills, expertise, and creativity to manage this very important group. You are exactly the kind of leader we want. And as you know, we are keen to increase the representation of foreigners in all our businesses. We pride ourselves on being a multinational leadership team. It is the only way that we will succeed as a global company." Mark remained silent while Sung-ho continued. He knew he was expected to show deference to anyone more senior "You'll be the first expat to load one of our mobile software teams, but we've had other foreigners in the group. There was one in particular who did quite well -- Mr. Ryan Porter. He was very much like you. Sung-bo pused and looked Mark in the eye. He knows, Mark thought, slightly shocked. "He fit in very nicely. He understood a lot about Korean culture, and he did his best to act in a way that was comfortable for Koreans." He did his best to stay in the closet, Mark thought "The cultural differences are difficult. That's why the offer includes an increase in salary. "Hardship pay. I think they call it in English Mark modded, assuring Sung-bo that he gotten the phrase right "Of course, Sung-ho continued. "as outlined in our Global Code of Conduct, we are committed to making every effort to create a working environment in which foreigners, women, even the disabled, are respected." Mark was confused. At first it had sounded like Sung-ho was telling him to keep quiet about his sexual orientation Now he was talking about inclusivity. Which was it? "We are all hoping you will accept the offer. We will make every effort to see that you're comfortable, and I presume that you will make every effort to fit in. Yes? That could be our agreement in extremely honored to be considered. Mark said "I would greatly appreciate it if you would give me another day or two to think about it "Yes, certainly." She said. "We do very much want you for this very important role. But," he added pendedly know it is not an easy decision to leave your home country" They all shoek desde Mark bowed, and Sungha len the office. Not five minutes later, David walked in. So, did he give you the harde " Tot sure, Mark said "Did you tell him I'm nyt" or cow "David said sincerely and Mark believed him "Well, he seemed to know, bei bane sort of way." Devidsook bleheadban gaily if you ys to Sol, you'll find yourself aming lot of new things, and not just shout work "So you think I chuld do "Lack, Markup www.dinom of the park. There's no dubted for langukana! for your career. Just what if you way be, there will "But thene way they yow job ifth he hemons' in Korea.Marks Motocy. David and the changing whether school "Mhe. David Blut Markdomi is the dicho que se that