Today, you asked your assistant to draft a message to send to patients who have received orthotic equipment your company sells. In this activity, you will review the assistant's initial draft and apply concepts about informative and positive messages. Analyzing this case requires a consideration of these questions for informative and positive messages:

• Does the first paragraph summarize the information or good news? If the information is too complex to fit into a single paragraph, does the paragraph list the basic parts of the policy or information in the order in which the letter discusses them?
• Is all the information given in the message? What information is needed will vary depending on the message, but information about dates, places, times, and anything related to money usually needs to be included.
• Are all benefits ones that seem likely to occur in this situation?
• Is each benefit developed, showing that the benefit matters to this audience? Do the benefits build on the specific circumstances of the audience?
• Does the message end with a positive paragraph—preferably one that is specific to the audience, not a general one that could fit any organization or policy?

Originality in a positive or informative message may come from: creating good headings, lists, and visual impact; developing benefits; thinking about audiences and giving details that answer their questions and make it easier for them to understand.

All messages, especially positive or informative messages, should use you-attitude and positive emphasis. Employing you-attitude and positive emphasis means: the tone is friendly; the style is easy to read; the visual design of the message is inviting; the format is correct; and the message uses standard grammar and is free of typos.

This activity is important because composing effective informative and positive messages is a common and critical task in business.

The goal of this activity is to demonstrate your ability to analyze a communication scenario and apply what you've learned in Chapter 8 to respond to it.

Read the following scenario about Drake Orthopedic and the initial message your assistant wrote. Then use what Chapter 8 says about sharing informative and positive messages to answer the analytical questions that follow.

You are a supervisor at Drake Orthopedic, which specializes in orthotic equipment. Today, you asked your assistant to draft a message to send to patients who have received orthotic equipment that your company sells. While patients span all ages, most are elderly. The purpose of the message is to direct the patients to schedule a follow-up visit to have the equipment adjusted.

Your assistant shows you the following draft:

Dear Sir or Madam,

This letter is in regard to follow-up to the orthosis (brace) you received during your recent hospital stay.

At Drake Orthopedic, we realize that responsible service does not end when you leave the hospital. In order to maintain this level of service, follow-up visits are often necessary to maintain proper fit, function, and comfort.

After a hospital stay, patients often have changes in fluid volume, diet, and activity levels. Adjustments to your orthosis might be necessary to accommodate these normal changes. As you progress in your recovery, we would like to schedule a follow-up visit and make any adjustments that may be indicated.

Such follow-up adjustments are included in the original fee for the orthosis, provided the adjustments are done at our offices and are performed within 90 days from the date of our final services to you in the hospital.

Please call xxx-xxx-5275 and schedule an appointment at your convenience.

Sincerely,

 

You realize immediately that there are some problems with this draft and call your assistant into your office to discuss them.

 

1. List the strategies for informative and positive messages that the assistant's message violates.
2. Rewrite the letter utilizing all of the parts of an informative and positive letter.