You and Jonathan are friendly to work rivals. Jonathan is very competitive and always tries to outperform you. At the same time, he has been a reliable workplace friend who goes out of his way to assist you. For instance, several times when you got behind on projects, he stepped in to help you out so that you could make your deadlines. You appreciate Jonathan as a colleague but also as a friend whose company you've come to enjoy.

Your rivalry with Jonathan heated up last year when you were both up for the same promotion. Jonathan really wanted it; you ended up getting it. In the aftermath, he congratulated you but was visibly upset for several weeks, and your interactions with him during that period were pretty strained.

One of your new job responsibilities is mentoring new hires, and you are assigned to mentor Lennon. Within a few days, it becomes clear that you and Lennon are romantically attracted to each other. This is a problem because your workplace has strict rules about employee romances, particularly across status lines. At the same time, you're not technically Lennon's supervisor, and Lennon will be assigned to a different unit when your mentorship ends.

The two of you start secretly dating. You're nervous because your supervisor, Sharon, is a stickler about company policies. You two are careful to mask your feelings while you're at work, but it's difficult. You're pretty sure that a few of your colleagues are whispering behind your back. On the other hand, the "forbidden" nature of your affair adds to the passion!

A few days later, you join Jonathan for lunch. He smiles and asks, "So, how long have you been dating Lennon?" When you dodge the question, he says, "Don't worry, I won't say a word!" You decide to disclose the truth because you've been dying to tell someone and you know you can trust him.

The following Monday, Sharon demands to see you in her office. She tells you that she has determined you have violated company policy regarding romantic relationships, and as a result, she is letting you go. Returning to your office in shock, you cross paths with Jonathan, who takes one look at your face and asks what happened. When you tell him, he gives you a hug and says, "This is terrible! How could this have happened?!"

Some Helpful Vocabulary.

• Face
• Masks
• Maintaining Face
• Appropriate self-disclosure

Think about all you've learned thus far about interpersonal communication. Then work through the following five steps. Remember, there are no "right" answers, so think hard about what is thebestchoice!

Step 1: Reflect on yourself.

What are your thoughts and feelings in this situation? What assumptions are you making about Jonathan and his behavior? about your other colleagues? Are your assumptions accurate?

Step 2: Reflect on your partner.

Put yourself in Jonathan's shoes. What is he thinking and feeling in this situation? What about your other colleagues?

Step 3: Identify the optimal outcome.

Think about your communication and relationship with Jonathan and all that has happened. What's the best, most constructive outcome possible? Consider what's best for you and for Jonathan.

Step 4: Locate the roadblocks.

Taking into consideration your own and Jonathan's thoughts and feelings and all that has happened in this situation, what obstacles are preventing you from achieving the optimal outcome?

Step 5: Chart your course.

What can you say to Jonathan to overcome the roadblocks you've identified and achieve your optimal outcome?