???????? What do you think it means to be successfully shy? We began this chapter by noting that anxiety is a common emotional experience that may be adaptive in situations involving a threat to our safety or well-being. It is common and may even be expected to feel anxious on a job interview or when taking an important test. Anxiety becomes maladaptive, however, when it is either inappropriate to the situation (no real threat or danger exists) or excessive (beyond expectable reactions)

and when it interferes significantly with a person’s social, occupational, or other areas of functioning (e.g., turning down a job on a high floors in an office building because of a fear of heights).

But what about shyness, a common personality trait? Many of us are shy, but where should we draw a line between ordinary shyness and social anxiety disorder? As Bernardo Carducci, a prominent shyness researcher at Indiana University, points out, “shyness is not a disease, a psychiatric disorder, a character flaw, or a personality defect that needs to be ‘cured’” (cited in Nevid & Rathus, 2013).

Many famous people in history were reported to be shy, among them Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, and Harry Potter creator, J. K.

Rowling (Cain, 2011). Carducci speaks of shy people becoming successfully shy, not by changing who they are, but by accepting themselves and learning how to interact with others, such as by working in a volunteer organization, learning conversation starters, and expanding social networks. As Carducci notes, “Successfully shy individuals do not need to change who they are—remember, there is nothing wrong with being a shy person. Successfully shy individuals change the way they think and act. They think less about themselves and more about others and take actions that are more other-focused and less self-focused” (cited in Nevid &

Rathus, 2013).