1. I bumped into my friend Andy the other day, and the first thing his German shepherd did was rush up to me and sniff that spot about ten inches beneath my navel. When I visited Lucy at her home, her Irish setter made a beeline for . . . yep, the same spot. Dogs are all alike. The only thing they like to do is annoy you by sniffing.

2. Tagging by graffiti artists has become a terrible problem in recent years. Obviously our schools are stifling the creative spirit of these young people.

3. These equal rights ordinances that supposedly protect gays and transexuals from discrimination are the work of the devil! Once these ordinances are enacted, sexual deviants, lurking in the shadows of public restrooms and locker rooms, will spring upon unsuspecting girls and women and perpetrate all forms of molestation and rape. For the sake of your daughters, your wives, your mothers and your grandmothers, never say yes to these innocent-sounding pieces of legislation.

4. Todd Burpo, the best-selling author, argues in his book that heaven is real and that his son Colton met Jesus and John the Baptist in a near-death experience. But it's clear that Burpo says these things only to sell lots of books. Therefore, his arguments have no merit.

5. What the farmer sows in the spring he reaps in the fall. In the spring he sows $8-per-bushel soybeans. Therefore, in the fall he will reap $8-per-bushel soybeans.

6. World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking claims that black holes do not gobble up everything that falls into them without leaving a trace, but that something is always left behind. Given Hawking's stature as a scientist and the many years he has worked on this problem, we should conclude that this is indeed the case.

7. Emily has bought over 100 tickets on the weekly state lottery, and she has never won anything. Therefore, the likelihood increases every week that she will win something if she continues to buy tickets.

8. Johnny, of course I deserve the use of your bicycle for the afternoon. After all, I'm sure you wouldn't want your mother to find out that you played hooky today.

9. Practically everyone has a fake ID card these days. Therefore, you should have no qualms about getting one yourself.

10. Ellen Quinn has argued that logic is not the most important thing in life. Apparently Ellen advocates irrationality. It has taken two million years for the human race to achieve the position that it has, and Ellen would throw the whole thing into the garbage. What utter nonsense!

11. When water is poured on the top of a pile of rocks, it always trickles down to the rocks on the bottom. Similarly, when rich people make lots of money, we can expect this money to trickle down to the poor.

12. Extensive laboratory tests have failed to prove any deleterious side effects of the new painkiller lexaprine. We conclude that lexaprine is safe for human consumption.

13. Environmentalists accuse us of blocking the plan to convert Antarctica into a world park. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Antarctica is a huge continent teeming with life. It is the home of millions of penguins, seals, sea birds, and sea lions. Also, great schools of finfish and whales inhabit its coastal waters.

14. Michael Moore, the documentary filmmaker, argues that capitalist institutions are ravaging America's middle class and walking away with billions of dollars in their pockets. But Moore is just a big, fat, populist rabble-rouser, and a multi millionaire to boot. He should keep his mouth shut.

15. The operation of a camera is similar in many ways to the operation of an eye. If you are to see anything in a darkened room, the pupils of your eyes must first dilate. Accordingly, if you are to take a photograph (without flash) in a darkened room, the aperture of the camera lens must first be increased.

16. Student loan debt is becoming a national crisis. Clearly, we should provide free textbooks to all college students.

17. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, says that men have the divine obligation to lead their families, and women have the divine obligation to submit to their husband's authority. Given Dobson's apparent ability to receive messages from God, we must conclude that this statement is absolutely true.

18. Dear Internal Revenue Service: I received a notice that my taxes are being audited for last year. But you have no right to do this. The deadline for filing a return was April 15, and I filed my tax return on April 12-a full three days before the deadline.

19. To prevent dangerous weapons from being carried aboard airliners, those seeking to board must pass through a magnetometer or X-ray device and submit to a possible pat-down search. Therefore, to prevent alcohol and drugs from being carried into rock concerts, those entering should submit to similar search procedures.

20. Mr. Flemming's arguments against the rent-control initiative on the September ballot should be taken with a grain of salt. As a landlord he would naturally be expected to oppose the initiative.

21. India is suffering a serious drought, thousands of children are dying of starvation in their mothers' arms, and homeless beggars line the streets of the major cities. Surely we must give these poor downtrodden people the chance of bettering their condition in America, the land of wealth and opportunity.

22. Members of the jury, you have heard Jack Fix testify that the defendant is not in fact a drug dealer. But Mr. Fix is a known drug dealer himself, and a close friend of the defendant. Also, only a year ago, he was convicted of five counts of perjury. Therefore, you should discount Fix's testimony.

23. It is ridiculous to hear that man from Peru complaining about America's poverty. Peru has twice as much poverty as America has ever had.

24. Folks who argue in favor of amnesty for undocumented immigrants are dead wrong. Homeland security is of vital importance. National security is necessary for a healthy economy and the psychological well-being of all our citizens. We must work to secure our nation from all threats, domestic or foreign.

25. Nobody has ever proved that immoral behavior by elected officials erodes public morality. Therefore, we must conclude that such behavior does not erode public morality.

26. Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment. Therefore, your friend was acting within his rights when he shouted "Fire! Fire!" in that crowded theater, even though it was only a joke.

27. No one, on encountering a wristwatch lying on a forest trail, would expect that it had simply appeared there without having been made by someone. For the same reason, no one should expect that the universe simply appeared without having been made by some intelligent being.

28. On Monday I drank ten rum and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. On Wednesday I drank eight gin and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. On Friday I drank nine bourbon and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. Obviously, to prevent further headaches I must give up Coke.

29. Radio entertainer Rush Limbaugh claims there is not a shred of evidence to prove that nicotine is addictive or that cigarettes cause emphysema, lung cancer, or any other disease. Given Limbaugh's apparent expertise in medical science, we can only conclude that what he says about nicotine and cigarettes is true.

30. Some of the parents in our school district have asked that we provide bilingual education in Spanish. This request will have to be denied. If we provide this service, then someone will ask for bilingual education in Greek. Then it will be German, French, and Hungarian. Polish, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean will follow close behind. We certainly can't accommodate all of them.

Identify the fallacies of relevance and weak induction committed by the following arguments. If no fallacy is committed, write "no fallacy."