One of the biggest problems of student writers is paraphrasing secondary sources correctly to avoid plagiarism.

Your Task.
For each of the following, read the original passage. Analyze the paraphrased version. List the weaknesses in relation to what you have learned about plagiarism and the use of references. Then write an improved version.
a. Original Passage
The collapse in the cost of computing has made cellular communication economically viable. Worldwide, one in two new phone subscriptions is cellular. The digital revolution in telephony is most advanced in poorer countries because they have been able to skip the outdated technological step of relying on land lines.
Paraphrased Passage
The drop in computing costs now makes cellular communication affordable around the world. In fact, one out of every two new phones is cellular. The digital revolution in cellular telephones is developing faster in poorer countries because they could skip the outdated technological process of using land lines.
b. Original Passage
Search site Yahoo kept world news prominent on its front page because users feel secure knowing that it is easily accessible, even if they don’t often click it. Conspicuous placement also went to entertainment, which draws heavy traffic from people seeking a diversion at work. By contrast, seemingly work-related content such as finance gets ample use in the evening when people pay bills and manage personal portfolios.
Paraphrased Passage
Search giant Yahoo kept news prominent on its portal since its customers feel good knowing it is there, even though they don’t read it much. Such noticeable placement was also used for entertainment news that attracts heavy traffic from users searching for a distraction at work. As opposed to that, what may seem work related, such as finance, is much visited at night when people pay their bills and manage their portfolios.
c. Original Passage
Wal-Mart’s bid to offer more fashionable apparel was a bid for Target’s business. With designer names and fashion flair, Target has made customers comfortable buying dental floss and flirty dresses under one giant, uber-hip roof. . Wal-Mart found out that though its edgier Metro 7 line for women sold well in several hundred stores, the line’s skinny jeans and other higher-style fashions bombed when the company expanded it to all of its stores.
Paraphrased Passage
By offering more fashionable clothes, Wal-Mart was bidding for Target’s business. With fashion flair and designer names, Target had attracted customers who would buy dental floss and sexy dresses under one roof. Wal-Mart learned that its hip Metro 7 line for women sold well in hundreds of stores, but the skinny jeans and higher-style clothes misfired when the retailer took them to 3,000 of its stores.